Posts Tagged ‘ Kushi ’

四番目物 「奈落唱」 // Yonbanmemono: Narakushou


Pure fury is a calm smile.

The fourth act of a traditional Noh play is either categorized as 雑能 (zatsunou “etc. Noh”) or 物狂能 (Insanity Noh), this being the latter. The latter type has two types, and depict either a woman or man going insane.

Reminder that at least one of the sources of Junko’s fury is the murder of her child.

I did “anger” instead of “fury” because I just didn’t like the way it sounded when I read it out for some reason.

I accidentally messed up and excluded an entire stanza when I first posted this, but it is fixed now.

四番目物 「奈落唱」
 Yonbanmemono: Narakushou
 The 4th Act: Hell Choir
ピュアヒューリーズ ~ 心の在処|東方紺珠伝
Vocals: Φ串Φ
Arrange+Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Circle: 凋叶棕
Album: 伝 -tsutae-
Event: C91

おお
おお

oh~oh
oh~oh

けして終わらぬ 螺旋を描いて
因果は因果 名前さえなく

keshite owaranu rasen’ wo egaite
in’ga wa in’ga namae sae naku

Drawing a spiral without end
Karma is as it is, without a name

いつまででも 怨み続け
いつまででも 憎み続け

itsumade demo uramitsudzuke
itsumade demo nikumitsudzuke

Without end I will spur on my resentment
Without end I will spur on my hatred

嗚呼

aa

Ah…

教えてやろう
数多ある感情 それら全てを
ひとつひとつ消し去っていって

oshieteyarou
amata aru kan’jou sorera subete wo
hitotsu hitotsu keshisatteitte

I’ll let you in on secret
When you take all of your many emotions
And extinguish them one by one…

そうしていつか
消え果てた感情
その最後に残る純粋な思いとは何か

soushite itsuka
kiehateta kan’jou
sono saigo ni nokoru jun’sui na omoi to wa nani ka

Eventually
When all those emotions have died out
What pure emotion do you think is left behind in the end?

「怒り」というのだ

“ikari” to iu no da

It is “anger”.

声が聞こえ来る
向こう岸から 呼ぶあの声
その声の主を
誰が忘れられよう

koe ga kikoekuru
mukougishi kara yobu ano koe
sono koe no aruji wo
dare ga wasurerareyou

I can hear a voice
A voice calling from yonder shore
The voice of whom?
Who could ever forget?

腕手の温もりを
柔肌の確かさを
覚えている 覚えているだろう いつまでも

kainade no nukumori wo
yawahada no tashikasa wo
oboeteiru oboeteiru darou itsumademo

The warmth in my arms
The certainty of your soft skin
I remember, and I shall forever and ever

嗚呼 この世界へと
産声を高く上げ
その在った証だけを この心に刻んで

aa kono sekai e to
ubugoe wo takaku age
sono atta akashi dake wo kono kokoro ni kizan’de

Ah… When you came
Crying and screaming into this world
I take those memories as proof, and carve them into my heart

宿す影よ 形なき影
けして果てなきよう

yadosu kage yo katachi naki kage
keshite hatenakiyou

Oh shadows, shapeless shadows within me
May you never, ever be extinguished

そう
   ただ消えぬ愛のその果ての思い
そう
  ただある慈の果ての思い
そう
 その面影に向けさえする思い
そう
純なる思いはどこまで

sou
   tada kienu ai no sono hate no omoi
sou
  tada aru itsukushimi no hate no omoi
sou
 sono omokage ni muke sae suru omoi
sou
jun’ naru omoi wa doko made

For
   This emotion is simply the finality of an unextinguished love
For
  This emotion is naught but the finality of affection
For
 This emotion could even be said to face your vestiges
For
This pure emotion is ever so…

おまえが 愛しい

omae ga itoshii

You are so precious

 おまえが 恋しい

 omae ga koishii

 As much as I…

――ほどに。

–hodo ni.

–miss you I…

だから
聞かせてやろう
いかほども言葉をつむぐ事無く
ただ思いの混り気の無く

dakara
kikaseteyarou
ikahodo mo kotoba wo tsumugu koto naku
tada omoi wo majirike no naku

So…
I shall let you hear
Without stringing together a number of words
But by conveying my pure emotion and nothing else

永遠にさえ
たどり着くことまで叶う程にも
純然たる思いとは何か

eien’ ni sae
tadoritsuku koto made kanau hodo nimo
jun’zen’ taru omoi to wa nani ka

An emotion
So pure that it may reach on into eternity
What pure emotion is this you ask?

「怒り」と呼ぶのだ

“ikari” to yobu no da

We call it “anger”.

この眼の前に
今も立っているのに であるのに
触れることさえも出来ぬ幻を抱く

kono manako no mae ni
ima mo tatteiru no ni de aru no ni
fureru koto sae mo dekinu maboroshi wo idaku

Despite that right before my eyes
You are standing… You are there…
You are but an illusion I cannot even touch

袖を濡らす
涙ももはや乾き果てて尚
泣いている 泣いているのだ いつまでも

sode wo nurasu
namida mo mohaya kawakihatete nao
naiteiru naiteiru no da itsumademo

My sleeves were wet
With tears that have long since tried up
But even so I still cry, I am crying, and will always be

嗚呼 この心の中
その面影の限り
その心のごとく おまえはそう永遠に

aa kono kokoro no naka
sono omokage no kagiri
sono kokoro no gotoku omae wa sou eien’ ni

Ah, within my heart
As long as your vestiges are here
In this heart you too will forever be

故に
この名に背負うのなら
純なる思いに任せては

yue ni
kono na ni seou no nara
jun’naru omoi ni makasete wa

Thus
As long as I must carry this name
Shall I not entrust myself to this pure emotion?

我が愛しきもの
その影でさえもう

wa ga nikurashiki mono
sono kage de sae mou

My beloved despised…
Even the shadow of what you were is

たとい影よ 思い果てつも
けして果てなきよう

tatoi kage yo omoihatetsumo
keshite hatenakiyou

<em>Oh shadow, even if you tire of me
May you never be extinguished

そう
   ただ恨むために恨み続けるは
そう
  ただ憎むために憎み続けよう
そう
 ただ生きるために生き続けること

sou
   tada uramu tame ni uramitsudzukeru wa
sou
  tada nikumu tame ni nikumitsudzukeyou
sou
 tada ikiru tame ni ikitsudzukeru koto

As
   I continue to resenting only for resentment’s sake
So
  Shall I continue to hate only for hatred’s sake
For
 Continuing to live only for life’s sake

心は奈落へ堕ちても

kokoro wa naraku e ochitemo

Even if it means my heart descends into hell

そう
   奈落に咲く奈落の花のように
そう
  奈落で歌う奈落の歌のように
そう
 奈落に在って奈落に身を浸す

sou
   naraku ni saku naraku no hana no you ni
sou
  naraku de utau naraku no uta no you ni
sou
 naraku ni atte naraku ni mi wo hitasu

My heart
   will blossom in hell like a hell blossom
My heart
  will sing in hell like a hellsong
My heart
 in hell will soak itself in it

ただ怒りの潰えぬままに

tada ikari no tsuienu mama ni

As my anger is and will never be extinguished

幽明境を分かつこと // Yuumeikyou wo Wakatsu Koto

Sponsored by: janyhero

“When I die, if you would be so kind, bless my passing with cherry blossoms. For I will die without regret – let the flowers instead represent the beauty of the life I lived.” becomes, “When I die, bless my passing with cherry blossoms, so that I can at least experience one moment of beauty, the one moment that will become my eternity, then I shall have no regrets, no matter how awful my life was. If this experience I wish for would be granted for me, then I would rather die than live.” It’s one of those beauty of death things that crops up in ancient Japanese literature, and certainly reading the old poem, many people probably did want to die under the cherry blossoms.

RD likes to be dark in subtle ways, and this is no exception.

Note:
There is a saying, “幽明境を異にする”, which literally means “to mistake the line separating the dark (death) from the light (life)”, in other words, to die (accidentally). Therefore, “幽明境を分かつ”, which literally means “to distinguish the line separating the dark (death) from the light (life)”, most likely means, to die (purposefully).

幽明境を分かつこと
 Yuumeikyou wo Wakatsu Koto
 Distinguishing the Dark from the Light
 (Dying With Purpose)
優雅に咲かせ、黒染の桜~Border of Life|東方妖々夢
さくらさくら~Japanize Dream… |東方妖々夢
Vocal: Φ串Φ
Arrange+Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Circle: 凋叶棕
Album: 屠 -hohuri-
Event: C86

ほとけには
さくらのはなを
たてまつれ

hotoke ni wa
sakura no hana wo
tatematsure

May ye offer up
Cherry blossoms
To the deceased

わがのちのよを
ひととぶらはば

wa ga nochi no yo wo
hito toburawaba

Be there anyone to honor
My passage to the next world

さもあれば
をしからざりし
いのちさえ

sa mo areba
oshikarazarishi
inochi sae

If so, then I would
Have no regrets left
In all my life

はなのいろにも
うつくしければ

hana no iro ni mo
utsukushikereba

For the beauty found in it, as much
As in the color of these flowers

かつて 一人
その想い 叶うなら

katsute hitori
sono omoi kanau nara

“If he, from long ago
Was able to have his wish granted…”

いつか吟じた
詞を 胸に抱いて

itsuka gin’jita
kotoba wo mune ni daite

In their hearts, embracing
Those verses written long ago

望み それは 願い
桜の下で 死ねること

nozomi sore wa negai
hana no shita de shineru koto

It is their dream, their wish
To die under the cherry blossoms

その死顔 ただうつくしく

sono kao tada utsukushiku

Even in death, their faces are just so beautiful…

そして 一人
また一人 止め処無く

soshite hitori
mata hitori tomedonaku

Another,
And yet another, without end

いつか 愛した
詞を 胸に抱いて

itsuka aishita
kotoba wo mune ni daite

In their hearts, embracing
Those verses I once loved

祈り それは 縋り
桜の下で 死ねること

inori sore wa sugari
hana no shita de shineru koto

It is their prayer, a thread of hope
To die under the cherry blossoms

その死顔も ただうつくしく

sono kao mo tada utsukushiku

Even in death, their faces are just so beautiful…

ほとけには さくらのはなを たてまつれ
死なば諸共 みなうつくしく

hotoke ni wa sakura no hana wo tatematsure
shinaba morotomo mina utsukushiku

“May ye offer up cherry blossoms to the deceased”
In death both can be equally beautiful

さもあれば をしからざりし いのちさえ
そのはかなさのみ 残しては

samo areba woshikarazarshi inochi sae
sono hakanasa nomi nokoshite wa

“If so, then I would have no regrets left in all my life”
Leaving behind only the transience of life

この身の 憂さを思えば
生きるのは あやなしとのみ

kono mi no usa wo omoeba
ikiru no wa ayanashi to nomi

Thinking of the melancholy of my own existence
Living itself seems nothing but futile

その花の うつくしければ
恐れは無く ただ身を捧ぐ

sono hana no utsukushikereba
osore wa naku tada mi wo sasagu

As the blossoms are so beautiful,
One can sacrifice themselves without fear

ほとけには さくらのはなを たてまつれ
死しても叶う 望みのあれば

hotoke ni wa sakura no hana wo tatematsure
shishite mo kanau nozomi no areba

“May ye offer up cherry blossoms to the deceased”
For there are dreams that can come true, even in death

さもあれば をしからざりし いのちさえ
この身も永久に うつくしく

samo areba oshikarazarishi inochi sae
kono mi mo towa ni utsukushiku

“If so, then I would have no regrets left, in all my life”
For then my body as well would be forever beautiful

ほとけには さくらのはなを たてまつれ
わがのちのよを ひととぶらはば

hotoke ni wa sakura no hana wo tatematsure
wa ga nochi no yo wo hito toburawaba

“May ye offer up cherry blossoms to the deceased”
“Be there anyone to honor my passage to the next world”

さもあれば をしからざりし このいのちさえ
せめて最期は 桜の下

samo areba oshikarazarishi kono inochi sae
semete saigo wa hana no shita

“If so, then I would have no regrets left, in all my life”
If only my last moments be under the cherry blossoms

呪いのエメラルド // Noroi no Emerald

Kushi (Φ串Φ) is Renko and Merami (めらみぽっぷ) is Maribel Hearn.

呪いのエメラルド
 Noroi no Emerald
 Accursed Emerald
緑眼のジェラシー|東方地霊殿
Vocals: Φ串Φ, めらみぽっぷ
Arrange, Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Circle: 凋叶棕
Album: 望 -nozomi-
Event: Reitaisai 11

その髪が綺麗だと 貴女は云うのね
喩えるならそれは 等と余計な事さえも

sono kami ga kirei da to anata wa iu no ne
tatoeru nara sore wa nado to yokei na koto sae mo

You always tell me that my hair is beautiful, even going so far as to say
“If I were to compare it to something it would be like…” and so forth

いつも その振る舞いが光を放つ度
私の影を より一層強く照らし出すのね

itsumo sono furumai ga hikari wo hanatsu tabi
watashi no kage wo yori issou tsuyoku terashidasu no ne

But the complements you say only cast a spotlight on yourself,
The light of which only strengthens the shadows cast from me.

その肌が綺麗だと 貴女は云うのね
喩える碌な言葉も 持ってもいない癖にね

sono hada ga kirei da to anata wa iu no ne
tatoeru roku na kotoba mo mottemo inai kuse ni ne

You always tell me that my skin is beautiful, even though
You don’t have anything really meaningful to say or compare it to

いつも その振る舞いが人目を惹く度
私の孤独を より浮き彫りにしてしまうのね

itsumo sono furumai ga hitome wo hiku tabi
watashi no kodoku wo yori ukibori ni shiteshimau no ne

And always those complements only draw others’ attention to yourself
Serving nothing but to highlight my own loneliness and isolation.

その虹彩 その輝きは 宛ら二つと無い 宝石

sono kousai sono kagayaki wa sanagara futatsu to nai houseki

Those irises and their shine, are just like peerless jewels,

それに引き換えこの瞳は

sore ni hikikae kono hitomi wa

Where in comparison, mine are…

引き千切って 掻き毟りたくなる
それほどまでに強く 止め様も無く

hikichigitte kakimushiritaku naru
sore hodo made ni tsuyoku tomeyou mo naku

I want to rip and tear them out
So strong and unstoppable is this desire

その眼窩に 黒く渦を巻くは
無限の猜忌

kono gan’ka ni kuroku uzu wo maku wa
mugen’ no saiki

Swirling black whirlpools in my eye sockets,
An infinite jealousy

やがて宿す光は
貴女を射竦める 呪いのエメラルド

yagate yadosu hikari wa
anata wo isukumeru noroi no emerald

That will in the end
Rip right through you, of accursed emerald

いつも どんなときでもその手を引きながら
自分が全て 先に立って歩いてるつもりで

itsumo don’na toki demo sono te wo hikinagara
jibun’ ga subete saki ni tatte aruiteru tsumori de

Whenever you take my hand as we go along, it may be
So that you can feel as if you are standing at the front of things

どんなにそうやって 上辺を演出っても
「あの子」より前には進めないと わかっているでしょう?

don’na ni sou yatte uwabe wo kazattemo
“ano ko” yori mae ni wa susumenai to wakatteiru deshou?

But no matter how you put on that facade, I’m sure
Don’t you realize, how it’s only a struggle to stay ahead of me?

差し伸べられたその手を 握り返せば
手を引かれる自分は ずっと幸せのつもりで

sashinoberareta sono te wo nigirikaeseba
te wo hikareru jibun’ wa zutto shiawase no tsumori de

Whenever you grasp tightly the hand I extend to you, you may be
Telling yourself, as you are led along, that truly you are happy

どんなにそうやって 気を安らげても
いつか捨てられてしまうのだとさえ 思っているでしょう?

don’na ni sou yatte ki wo yasuragetemo
itsuka suterareteshimau no da to sae omotteiru deshou?

But no matter how you try to comfort yourself, I’m sure
Aren’t you really thinking that someday I will abandon you?

そうよ結局 貴女だけでは 所詮 貴女一人だけでは

sou yo kekkyoku anata dake de ha shosen’ anata hitori dake de wa

Yes, because without me – After all, by yourself

何もできないくせにね

nani mo dekinai kusei ni ne

You can’t do anything at all.

差しつけては 抉り取りたくなる
燃えるように昂ぶる 歪な程

sashitsukete wa eguritoritaku naru
moeru you ni takaburu ibitsu na hodo

To put it frankly, I want to tear you apart.
This burning and rising, twisted desire

その心に 黒く膨れ上がるは
無限の猜忌

sono kokoro ni kurokufureagaru wa
mugen’ no saiki

At the center of which is, black and bulging
An infinite jealousy

そして輝きを増すは
貴女を射殺さん 呪いのエメラルド

soshite kagayaki wo masu wa
anata wo ikorosan’ noroi no emerald

That as its brillance peaks
Will come flying to kill you, of accursed emerald

嗚呼どうして 貴女ばかりが 貴女の手にするその全てが

aa doushite anata bakari ga anata no te ni suru sono subete ga

Ah, why is it always you – Why is it everything you have

何もかもが 妬ましい

nani mo ka mo netamashii

That fills me with such jealousy!?

いつ果てるとも 知らないその連鎖 そうして何もかもが 崩れていく
その全てを 嗤うモノの影を 誰も知らずに

itsu hateru tomo shiranai sono ren’sa soushite nani mo ka mo ga kuzureteiku
sono subete wo warau mono no kage wo dare mo shirazu ni

It is a chain whose end no one knows, not anymore than anyone knows the shadow
Cast by the one who laughs as everything comes crumbling down

次なる餌食は何処に 無限に生まれゆく

tsugi naru ejiki wa doko ni mugen’ ni umareyuku

“Where are my next victims?” they say, endlessly born

呪いのエメラルド

noroi no emerald

Of that accursed emerald…

left behind

Requested by: Frequency Blue and …?

Notes:
The source “感情の摩天楼~Cosmic Mind|東方星蓮船” is not noted in the lyrics booklet.

This song, like many suffers a bit from subject confusion/ambiguity – just giving fair warning; I didn’t want to make any large assumptions nor did I want to just leave it completely open so it can feel as if the subject/narrator perspective jumps around a bit.

“though glowing red” – 染まる continues to be a nightmare to translate for me. The line is closer to “though I be dyed red, though I scream at myself” – I chose glow because it brought flaming Mokou to mind.

“clearly beautiful” – “clearly” as in “clear from anyone’s perspective”

“along the path of flight” – “flight” as in “fleeing” not “flying”.

“I only suffer, gripping onto my loneliness” – I think the best thing to think of imagewise is biting onto a stick when a doctor operates on you without anesthesia. literally “biting down on loneliness”. The meaning isn’t exactly the same at that analogy, but it is very similar.

You call claim an “untold happy ending” to this song. Bungaku Shoujo style, which I have noted with my ending picture.

In Tadori/Izanai [辿/誘], this track is paired with 黄昏逃避行/Tasogare Touhikou – “Flight in Twilight”

Left Behind
月まで届け、不死の煙|東方永夜抄
感情の摩天楼~Cosmic Mind|東方星蓮船
Vocal: Φ串Φ (RegaSound)
Arrangement+Lyrics: RD-Sounds (凋叶棕)
Circle: ふぉれすとぴれお (Forest Pireo/FP-Records)/凋叶棕
Album: T★Girls.03/辿
Event: 例大祭9/C83

覚えがあれば思い出すがいい
子供の頃の約束を一つ

oboe ga areba omoidasu ga ii
kodomo no koro no yakusoku wo hitotsu

Remember if those memories remain,
One of the promises we as children made

「おおきくなっても、ずっとなかよしで!」

“ookiku nattemo, zutto nakayoshi de!”

“Even after we grow up, we’ll always be friends!”

…そんな、何て儚い幻覚。

…son’na, nan’te hakanai fantasia.

…But what a fleeting fantasia.

幾日が過ぎ去って、そして幾年
可愛らしくも美しいあの子

ikunichi wo sugisatte, soshite ikutoshi
kawairashiku mo utsukushii ano ko

Days passed, and then years and
Both lovely and beautiful was she

方や、わが身は、推して知るべく
約束を為したままの姿で。

kata ya, wagami wa, oshiteshirubeku
yakusoku wo nashita mama no sugata de.

Yet one look would easily reveal that she
Remained unchanged from when she made her promise.

いくつもの約束⇒裏切りへと
そのつもりのあるなしを問わず

ikutsumo no yakusoku wa uragiri e to
sono tsumori no aru nashi wo towazu

Many promises turned to betrayals
Heedless of her own intentions

結果は不動、常に変わらずに
相容れぬものが誰か判明るだけ。

kekka wa fudou. tsune ni kawarazu ni
aiirenu mono ga dare ka wakaru dake.

Nothing came of it, and everything was the same as ever,
It was just that everyone knew who could never fit in.

どんな言葉を 飾ろうと
その答えが変わることはないのだけれど

don’na kotoba wo kazarou to
sono kotae ga kawaru koto wa nai no dakaredo

No matter how you might try
To word it, the answer doesn’t change.

ただ、口惜しい。

tada, kuchioshii.

It’s just… so frustrating.

left behind.
果たされぬ無数の約束を引き受けて、
その数だけ自分というものをいやほど思い知りながら。

left behind.
hatasarenu musuu no yakusoku wo hikiukete,
sono kazu dake jibun’ to iu mono wo iya hodo omoishirinagara.

Left behind.
Carrying the weight of countless unfulfilled promises,
I was reminded more of myself than I would ever want to know.

left behind.
…それでもまだ何かを諦めきれず、
今日もまた、小さな裏切りをこの身に受け止め続ける。

left behind.
…soredemo mada nanika wo akiramekirezu,
kyou mo mata, chiisana uragiri wo kono mi ni uketometsudzukeru.

Left behind.
…and yet there’s something I cannot give up on,
So today again, I keep taking on these small betrayals.

紅く染まれど、わが身に叫べど、
その声は力なく木霊して。

akaku somaredo, wagami ni sakebedo
sono koe wa chikara naku kodama shite.

Though glowing red, I scream at myself
My voice only echoes powerlessly.

覚えがあれば思い出すがいい
傍目にも美麗な優しさ一つ

oboe ga areba omoidasu ga ii
hatame ni mo birei na yasashiisa hitotsu

Remember if those memories remain,
One clearly beautiful example of kindness

「宛てがないなら、家に来なさい」と

“ate ga nai nara, uchi ni kinasai” to

“If you have no place to go, you can stay here.”

…そんな、何てくだらぬ茶番。

…son’na, nan’te kudaranu fantasia.

…But what a worthless fantasia.

一日、一月、一年と、少し
疑念は形を伴って

ichinichi, hitotsuki, ichinen’ to, sukoshi
ginen’ wa katachi wo tomonatte

A day, a month, a year, and just a little longer
Before doubt began to take form

終いに問われるいつもの調子で
お前は一体“何物”なのだと。

shimai ni towareru itsumo no choushi de
omae wa itai “nanimono” na no da to.

In the end, as always I’m asked the same question,
Just “what” are you?

そうしてまたも辿る逃避行
背に受ける視線はバケモノのそれ

soushite mata mo tadoru touhikou
se ni ukeru shisen’ wa bakemono no sore

So again I walk along the path of flight
The gazes I feel on my back are as if I were a monster

かつて同じ人間出会ったと
認めることさえもはや吝かに

katsute onaji mono deatta to
mitomeru koto sae mohaya yabusaka ni

No longer are they even willing to accept
That I was once human like them.

どんな思いに 至ろうと
この答えが変わることなどないのだけれど

don’na omoi ni itarou to
kono kotae ga kawaru koto nado nai no dakeredo

No matter how I might feel
The answer doesn’t change.

ただ、やるせない。

tada, yarusenai.

It’s just… I feel so helpless…

left behind.
突き刺さる無数の悪意に晒され
心だけは無痛であればと願い続けて遥か

left behind.
tsukisasaru musuu no akui ni sarasare
kokoro dake wa mutsuu de areba to negai tsudzukete haruka

Left behind.
Exposed to countless piercing forms of malice,
I only wish for at least my heart to not feel such pain.

left behind.
…それでも必死に抗う言葉が
絞り出されずに消えてゆく「バケモノはお前達の方だ!」と。

left behind.
…soredemo hisshi ni aragau kotoba ga
shiboridasarezu ni kieteyuku “bakemono wa omaera no hou da!” to.

Left behind.
…and yet my desperate words of protest I cannot
Wring out; “The true monsters are you!” left unspoken.

醜きかな、嗚呼、その有様。
永久に見慣れることなどないのか。

minikuki ka na, aa, sono arisama.
towa ni minareru koto nado nai no ka.

Ah… I must look pathetic.
Is there no way to get used to this eternity.

永遠に、独りなのかと。
その果てしなさに、、、

eien’ ni, hitori na no ka to.
sono hateshinasa ni,,,

Will I be alone like this forever?
With and in this essence of neverending…

はじめに暗く。

hajime ni kuraku.

Dark at its beginning.

永遠に、独りなのかと。
その途方もなさに、、、

eien’ ni, hitori nano ka to.
sono tohou mo nasa ni,,,

Will I be alone like this forever?
With and in this essence of absurdity…

終わりに冥し。

owari ni kurashi.

Dark at its end.

left behind.
誰からも手を差し伸べられずに
行く当てなく逝く当てもなくただ孤独を噛み締めて

left behind.
dare kara mo te wo sashinoberarezu ni
iku atenaku yuku ate mo naku tada kodoku wo kamishimete

Left behind.
With no one there to lend me a hand,
With no place to live or die, I only suffer, gripping onto my loneliness

left behind.
もはや仇でも憎きものでも
「誰でもいい」と声にならぬ救いをもとめて…

left behind.
mohaya kataki demo nikuki mono demo
“dare demo ii” to koe ni naranu sukui wo motomete…

Left behind.
At this rate even if it some arch enemy I could hate,
“Anyone… please…” I ask for help in what could hardly be called a voice…

それでも

sore demo

And yet…

愛されさえも 救われさえもせず 独り憂世に
おぼつかぬ足取りを刻み続けなければならない

ai sare sae mo sukuware sae mo sezu hitori ukiyo ni
obotsukanu ashidori wo kizami tsudzukenakereba naranai

I am neither loved nor saved, and travel this depressing world alone
Forever left to stumble along this road in uncertain footsteps

left behind.
ここではない、どこかでさえもなく
私はどこへ、いったいどこへ、むかえばいいというのか。

left behind.
koko de wa nai, doko ka de sae mo naku
watashi wa doko e, ittai doko e, mukaeba ii to iu no ka.

Left behind.
Not here, not anywhere
Just where… where should I turn?

誰か、一人でも。同じ、苦しみを。
分かち合えれば、と幻想に逃げながら。

dare ka, hitori demo. onaji, kurushimi wo.
wakachiaereba, to yume ni nigenagara.

Someone… if there were even just one person, who understood…
Who could share this pain with me… I thought as I ran away into dreams, and illusions.