Alternative Egophobia

Yuzushu.

Alternative Egophobia
ハルトマンの妖怪少女|東方地霊殿
Vocal: 咲子
Arrangement/Lyrics: テラ
Circle: 少女理論観測所

取り出した視界 問い出した誓い
飛び出した世界 追い出した自戒
呼び出した擬態 乗り出した期待
継ぎ足した自我に杭刺した永遠に

toridashita shikai toidashita chikai
tobidashita sekai oidashita jikai
yobidashita gitai noridashita kitai
tsugitashita jiga ni kui sashita towa ni

Fetched Vision, Questioned Vows
Launched Worlds, Chased Caution
Summoned Mimicry, Mounted Expectations
Onto the Eternity Since I Impaled my Appended Ego

青褪めた夜と冷め醒めた視線
呪われた性と襲われた不安
囚われた檻に突き刺さる自尊
閉じ込めた自我と仕舞い込んだ貴賤

aozameta yoru to samesameta shisen’
norowareta saga to osowareta fuan’
torawareta ori ni tsukisasaru jison’
tojikometa jiga to shimaikon’da kisen’

Paled Nights and Cold Sober Glances
Accursed Nature and the Onslaught of Anxiety
Self Respect Stabs into the Cage of My Imprisonment
My Locked Away Ego and its Envelopment of Worth and Worthlessness

終わり拒み持て余した言葉 意味が無いの?ねぇ?
つまり止まり木の様に羽根休め もう疲れたの
「期待」痛い「不快」痛ッ、や、嫌、痛ッ、ね、嫌、ダメって
暴言、トゲ、焦げ、焼け、爛れ精神崩壊

owari kobami moteamashita kotoba imi ga nai no? nee?
tsumari tomari ki no you ni haneyasume mou tsukareta no
“kitai” itai “fukai” ita, ya, iya, ita, ne, iya, dame tte
bougen’, toge, koge, yake, tadare seishin’houkai

It’s the End. Rejection. Is there Meaning in this Mass of Unnecessary Words? Is there!?
In Other Words, It’s Stopped. Like a branch to rest my wings, I’m tired of it all.
“Expectations” It Hurts. “Digust” It Hurts. No Stop No Stop It Hurts Hey, I said No, means NO!
Verbal abuse, thorns, anxiety, burns, inflammation, psychological collapse.

目を逸らして引き籠って 浮かれた俗世に然様なら
汚れたモノなら見えないように ねぇ、袖振り払って
泣き喚いて逃げ出して 新たな人格こんにちは
「綺麗なモノしかいらないよ。」って
ねぇ、今ここにいるの。

me wo sorashite hikikomotte ukareta zokuse ni sayounara
yogoreta mono nara mienai you ni nee, sode furiharatte
nakiwameite nigedashite arata na jin’kaku kon’nichi wa
“kirei na mono shika iranai yo.” tte
nee, ima koko ni iru no.

Avert the Eyes, Initiate Reclusion, Farewell to the floating Apparent World!
You’ve got to make unclean parts unseen after all, so shake them off your sleeves
Weep and scream and run, Hello New Personality!
“I no use for anything not clean and beautiful,” you say?
Well I’m right here!

広がる世界と閉じた視界の対比
落ちた自意識は枝分かれの干渉
成り代わりの感情 作り物の愛情
自我と無我の対称 帳落ちた深層

hirogaru sekai to tojita shikai no taihi
ochita jiishiki wa edawakare no kan’shou
narikawari no kan’jou tsukuri no aijou
jiga to muga no taishou tobariochita shin’sou

A Contrast between a Broadening World and Closed Vision
Dropped Selfconsciousness is a Branched Interference
Receiving Emotions that are Not My Own, a Manufactured Love
The Contrast Between Ego and Selflessness, A Depth of Twilight’s Falling

利害以外持ち合わせた本音 意義がないの?ねぇ?
ならば脱ぎ捨てた仮面で醜い貌隠してよ
「言葉」偽善「心」嘘、ね、嫌、嘘、こんなの嫌って
妄言、虚言、詭弁、涸れ、剥がれ通信障害

rigai igai mochiawaseta hon’ne igi ga nai no? nee?
naraba nugisuteta kamen’ de minikui kao kakushite yo
“kotoba” gizen’ “kokoro” uso, ne iya, uso, kon’na no iya tte
mougen’, gigen’, kiben’, kare, hagare tsuushin’shougai

A True Reason Supplied Other than Self Interest, Is there really no Meaning? Really!?
Then with the Mask I Discarded, hide my Ugly Face!
“Words” Hypocrisy “Heart” Lies, C’mon, Stop, I don’t believe it, I said I hate this!
Delusions, Nonsense, Sophistry, Wilt, Shed Transmission Malfunction

信じたモノ引き裂いて失う心があるのなら
私は壊れたジャンクの様に そっと目打ちも捨ててて
感じたコト押し付けて怯える瞳の奥底を
抜き身のナイフで抉り取れば
もうほら、痛くないの。

shin’jita mono hikisaite ushinau kokoro ga aru no nara
watashi wa kowareta junk no you ni sotto meuchi mo sutetete
kan’jita koto oshitsukete obieru me no okusoko wo
nukimi no knife de eguritoreba
mou hora, itakunai no.

If you have the will to tear up something you believed into pieces and have it lost,
Then like broken junk I will gently throw away the hole punch,
All the things I’ve felt I will push on another, into the depths of my fearful eye
Which if with a bared knife I cut out,
Look! It won’t hurt anymore.

息を止めて 目を瞑って 止まらぬノイズにまた明日
望んだ景色が見られるなら
せめて夢の中…

iki wo tomete me wo tsumutte tomaranu noise mata ashita
nozon’da keshiki ga mirareru nara
semete yume no naka…

Hold your breath, close your eyes, and leave the unending noise to another tomorrow.
If I could just see the scenery I wished to see,
Would you at least in my dreams let me…

目を逸らして引き籠って 浮かれた俗世に然様なら
汚れたモノなら見えないように ねぇ、袖振り払って
泣き喚いて逃げ出して 新たな人格こんにちは
「綺麗なモノしかいらないよ。」って
ねぇ、今ここにいるの。

me wo sorashite hikikomotte ukareta zokuse ni sayounara
yogoreta mono nara mienai you ni nee, sode furiharatte
nakiwameite nigedashita arata na jin’kaku kon’nichi wa
“kirei na mono shika iranai yo.” tte
nee, ima koko ni iru no.

Avert the Eyes, Initiate Reclusion, Farewell to the floating Apparent World!
You’ve got to make unclean parts unseen after all, so shake them off your sleeves
Weep and scream and run, Hello New Personality!
“I no use for anything not clean and beautiful,” you say?
Well I’m right here!

Komeiji Koishi (bei mochi)

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