a transient faith

Kochiya Sanae and Moriya Suwako (imgid-51746392) (pxid-4344346, omo (utakatadice))

a transient faith
少女が見た日本の原風景|東方風神録
信仰は儚き人間の為に|東方風神録
Vocal: めらみぽっぷ
Arrange+Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Circle: 凋叶棕
Album: 喩 -tatoe-
Event: C88

四月から小学校だね なんて話しながら
穏やかな幸せの中 埋もれているー

shigatsu kara shougakkou da ne nan’te hanashinagara
odayaka na shiawase no naka umoreteiru-

Lightly talking about how you’ll start school in April,
I feel immersed in a peaceful happiness…

友達でも見つけたの
足を止めて手を振っていたわが子の

tomodachi demo mitsuketa no
ashi wo tomete te wo futteita wa ga ko no

Did she see a friend, maybe?
I looked back at my child who had stopped and was waving her hand

ーその先には誰もいない。

-sono saki ni wa dare mo inai.

…But there was no one there.

不吉な予感はまるで小波のように

fukitsu na yokan’ wa maru de sazanami no you ni

An ominous feeling swept over me, like ripples on the water

ねぇ、そこに何かいるの?
…ねぇ、お母さんにも分かるように、教えて。

nee, soko ni nani ka iru no?
…nee, okaasan ni mo wakaru you ni, oshiete.

Darling, what do you see there?
…Could you tell mommy, in a way I can understand?

この子は答えずに
私の声にも気付いていないようで

kono ko wa kotaezu ni
watashi no koe ni mo kidzuiteinai you de

But my child didn’t answer
It was as if she hadn’t even heard me

遠い昔に忘れ去った記憶が
形なき影を纏って突然蘇る

tooi mukashi ni wasuresatta kioku ga
katachi naki kage wo matotte totsuzen’ yomigaeru

A memory I had forgotten in the distant past
Rose up suddenly, enveloped in shapeless shadows in my mind

人の身でありながら
神となったはずが
結局求めたのは人の幸せ

hito no mi de arinagara
kami to natta hazu ga
kekkyoku motometa no wa hito no shiawase

While born human, I was
Supposed to be a living goddess
But in the end, what I sought was the happiness of humans

幸せの証は
此処にこうして居るから
後悔など無いと心震わせて

shiawase no akashi wa
koko ni koushite iru kara
koukai nado nai to kokoro furuwasete

The proof of my happiness
Is right here beside me, so
With conviction I can say I have no regrets

誰を見ているのかわからない
名前を聞いてみてもわからない
それと話しては駄目なのと
呼びかける私に振り向いて

dare wo miteiru no ka wakaranai
namae wo kiitemitemo wakaranai
sore to hanashite wa dame nano to
yobikakeru watashi ni furimuite

I don’t know who she is looking at
Even when I ask their name I get no answer
You mustn’t talk to those things, I say
But my child just turns around and replies,

「おかあさん、かみさまっているとおもう?」

“okaasan, kamisama tte iru to omou?”

“Mommy, do you thnk that gods really exist?”

沈みゆく夕闇に
この子の姿が
とても小さく見えてただ怖かった

shizumiyuku yuuyami ni
kono ko no sugata ga
totemo chiisaku miete tada kowakatta

In the deepening twilight
My child looked just
Ever so small, and I was overcome with fear

何を見てしまったか
もはや確かめもせず
わが子を前にして崩れ落ちながら

nani wo miteshimatta ka
mohaya tashikame mo sezu
wa ga ko wo mae ni shite kuzureochinagara

Giving up on confirming
What it is she saw,
I fell to my knees in front of my child

この子の見る
神に向かって
溢れる思いを

kono ko no miru
kami ni mukatte
afureru omoi wo

Facing the gods
My child saw with
My overflowing emotions

何故 私をずっと
放っておかれないのですか
背を向けた私を怨んでおいでですか

naze watashi wo zutto
houtteokarenai no desu ka
se wo muketa watashi wo uran’deoide desu ka

Why is it that you
Won’t just let me be?
Do you so hate me for turning my back on you?

何故 今になって
御姿をあらわされたのですか
たとえ捨てたとて逃れられぬ定めなのですか

naze ima ni natte
sugata wo arawasareta no desu ka
tatoe suteta tote nogarerarenu sadame nano desu ka

Why is it that now
Of all times, you choose to show yourselves?
Is it my fate to never escape you, even though I threw you away?

私は 怖かったのです
幸せになりたかったのです

watashi wa kowakatta no desu
shiawase ni naritakatta no desu

I was scared!
I just wanted to be happy!

どうかこの子には手を出さないでと祈る
祈る神が目の前に居たとしても
「儚き信仰」に縋りながら

dou ka kono ko ni wa te wo dasanaide to inoru
inoru kami ga me no mae ni ita to shitemo
“usuppera na sono amae” ni sugari nagara

So I pray, that you would not lay your hands on my child
Even if the very gods I pray to are the ones before me now
I will cling to a transient faith, a shallow entreaty

わが子を抱きしめる
強く強く抱きしめる

wa ga ko wo dakishimeru
tsuyoku tsuyoku dakishimeru

So I embrace my child
Holding her as tightly as I can

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