left behind

Requested by: Frequency Blue and …?

Notes:
The source “感情の摩天楼~Cosmic Mind|東方星蓮船” is not noted in the lyrics booklet.

This song, like many suffers a bit from subject confusion/ambiguity – just giving fair warning; I didn’t want to make any large assumptions nor did I want to just leave it completely open so it can feel as if the subject/narrator perspective jumps around a bit.

“though glowing red” – 染まる continues to be a nightmare to translate for me. The line is closer to “though I be dyed red, though I scream at myself” – I chose glow because it brought flaming Mokou to mind.

“clearly beautiful” – “clearly” as in “clear from anyone’s perspective”

“along the path of flight” – “flight” as in “fleeing” not “flying”.

“I only suffer, gripping onto my loneliness” – I think the best thing to think of imagewise is biting onto a stick when a doctor operates on you without anesthesia. literally “biting down on loneliness”. The meaning isn’t exactly the same at that analogy, but it is very similar.

You call claim an “untold happy ending” to this song. Bungaku Shoujo style, which I have noted with my ending picture.

In Tadori/Izanai [辿/誘], this track is paired with 黄昏逃避行/Tasogare Touhikou – “Flight in Twilight”

Left Behind
月まで届け、不死の煙|東方永夜抄
感情の摩天楼~Cosmic Mind|東方星蓮船
Vocal: Φ串Φ (RegaSound)
Arrangement+Lyrics: RD-Sounds (凋叶棕)
Circle: ふぉれすとぴれお (Forest Pireo/FP-Records)/凋叶棕
Album: T★Girls.03/辿
Event: 例大祭9/C83

覚えがあれば思い出すがいい
子供の頃の約束を一つ

oboe ga areba omoidasu ga ii
kodomo no koro no yakusoku wo hitotsu

Remember if those memories remain,
One of the promises we as children made

「おおきくなっても、ずっとなかよしで!」

“ookiku nattemo, zutto nakayoshi de!”

“Even after we grow up, we’ll always be friends!”

…そんな、何て儚い幻覚。

…son’na, nan’te hakanai fantasia.

…But what a fleeting fantasia.

幾日が過ぎ去って、そして幾年
可愛らしくも美しいあの子

ikunichi wo sugisatte, soshite ikutoshi
kawairashiku mo utsukushii ano ko

Days passed, and then years and
Both lovely and beautiful was she

方や、わが身は、推して知るべく
約束を為したままの姿で。

kata ya, wagami wa, oshiteshirubeku
yakusoku wo nashita mama no sugata de.

Yet one look would easily reveal that she
Remained unchanged from when she made her promise.

いくつもの約束⇒裏切りへと
そのつもりのあるなしを問わず

ikutsumo no yakusoku wa uragiri e to
sono tsumori no aru nashi wo towazu

Many promises turned to betrayals
Heedless of her own intentions

結果は不動、常に変わらずに
相容れぬものが誰か判明るだけ。

kekka wa fudou. tsune ni kawarazu ni
aiirenu mono ga dare ka wakaru dake.

Nothing came of it, and everything was the same as ever,
It was just that everyone knew who could never fit in.

どんな言葉を 飾ろうと
その答えが変わることはないのだけれど

don’na kotoba wo kazarou to
sono kotae ga kawaru koto wa nai no dakaredo

No matter how you might try
To word it, the answer doesn’t change.

ただ、口惜しい。

tada, kuchioshii.

It’s just… so frustrating.

left behind.
果たされぬ無数の約束を引き受けて、
その数だけ自分というものをいやほど思い知りながら。

left behind.
hatasarenu musuu no yakusoku wo hikiukete,
sono kazu dake jibun’ to iu mono wo iya hodo omoishirinagara.

Left behind.
Carrying the weight of countless unfulfilled promises,
I was reminded more of myself than I would ever want to know.

left behind.
…それでもまだ何かを諦めきれず、
今日もまた、小さな裏切りをこの身に受け止め続ける。

left behind.
…soredemo mada nanika wo akiramekirezu,
kyou mo mata, chiisana uragiri wo kono mi ni uketometsudzukeru.

Left behind.
…and yet there’s something I cannot give up on,
So today again, I keep taking on these small betrayals.

紅く染まれど、わが身に叫べど、
その声は力なく木霊して。

akaku somaredo, wagami ni sakebedo
sono koe wa chikara naku kodama shite.

Though glowing red, I scream at myself
My voice only echoes powerlessly.

覚えがあれば思い出すがいい
傍目にも美麗な優しさ一つ

oboe ga areba omoidasu ga ii
hatame ni mo birei na yasashiisa hitotsu

Remember if those memories remain,
One clearly beautiful example of kindness

「宛てがないなら、家に来なさい」と

“ate ga nai nara, uchi ni kinasai” to

“If you have no place to go, you can stay here.”

…そんな、何てくだらぬ茶番。

…son’na, nan’te kudaranu fantasia.

…But what a worthless fantasia.

一日、一月、一年と、少し
疑念は形を伴って

ichinichi, hitotsuki, ichinen’ to, sukoshi
ginen’ wa katachi wo tomonatte

A day, a month, a year, and just a little longer
Before doubt began to take form

終いに問われるいつもの調子で
お前は一体“何物”なのだと。

shimai ni towareru itsumo no choushi de
omae wa itai “nanimono” na no da to.

In the end, as always I’m asked the same question,
Just “what” are you?

そうしてまたも辿る逃避行
背に受ける視線はバケモノのそれ

soushite mata mo tadoru touhikou
se ni ukeru shisen’ wa bakemono no sore

So again I walk along the path of flight
The gazes I feel on my back are as if I were a monster

かつて同じ人間出会ったと
認めることさえもはや吝かに

katsute onaji mono deatta to
mitomeru koto sae mohaya yabusaka ni

No longer are they even willing to accept
That I was once human like them.

どんな思いに 至ろうと
この答えが変わることなどないのだけれど

don’na omoi ni itarou to
kono kotae ga kawaru koto nado nai no dakeredo

No matter how I might feel
The answer doesn’t change.

ただ、やるせない。

tada, yarusenai.

It’s just… I feel so helpless…

left behind.
突き刺さる無数の悪意に晒され
心だけは無痛であればと願い続けて遥か

left behind.
tsukisasaru musuu no akui ni sarasare
kokoro dake wa mutsuu de areba to negai tsudzukete haruka

Left behind.
Exposed to countless piercing forms of malice,
I only wish for at least my heart to not feel such pain.

left behind.
…それでも必死に抗う言葉が
絞り出されずに消えてゆく「バケモノはお前達の方だ!」と。

left behind.
…soredemo hisshi ni aragau kotoba ga
shiboridasarezu ni kieteyuku “bakemono wa omaera no hou da!” to.

Left behind.
…and yet my desperate words of protest I cannot
Wring out; “The true monsters are you!” left unspoken.

醜きかな、嗚呼、その有様。
永久に見慣れることなどないのか。

minikuki ka na, aa, sono arisama.
towa ni minareru koto nado nai no ka.

Ah… I must look pathetic.
Is there no way to get used to this eternity.

永遠に、独りなのかと。
その果てしなさに、、、

eien’ ni, hitori na no ka to.
sono hateshinasa ni,,,

Will I be alone like this forever?
With and in this essence of neverending…

はじめに暗く。

hajime ni kuraku.

Dark at its beginning.

永遠に、独りなのかと。
その途方もなさに、、、

eien’ ni, hitori nano ka to.
sono tohou mo nasa ni,,,

Will I be alone like this forever?
With and in this essence of absurdity…

終わりに冥し。

owari ni kurashi.

Dark at its end.

left behind.
誰からも手を差し伸べられずに
行く当てなく逝く当てもなくただ孤独を噛み締めて

left behind.
dare kara mo te wo sashinoberarezu ni
iku atenaku yuku ate mo naku tada kodoku wo kamishimete

Left behind.
With no one there to lend me a hand,
With no place to live or die, I only suffer, gripping onto my loneliness

left behind.
もはや仇でも憎きものでも
「誰でもいい」と声にならぬ救いをもとめて…

left behind.
mohaya kataki demo nikuki mono demo
“dare demo ii” to koe ni naranu sukui wo motomete…

Left behind.
At this rate even if it some arch enemy I could hate,
“Anyone… please…” I ask for help in what could hardly be called a voice…

それでも

sore demo

And yet…

愛されさえも 救われさえもせず 独り憂世に
おぼつかぬ足取りを刻み続けなければならない

ai sare sae mo sukuware sae mo sezu hitori ukiyo ni
obotsukanu ashidori wo kizami tsudzukenakereba naranai

I am neither loved nor saved, and travel this depressing world alone
Forever left to stumble along this road in uncertain footsteps

left behind.
ここではない、どこかでさえもなく
私はどこへ、いったいどこへ、むかえばいいというのか。

left behind.
koko de wa nai, doko ka de sae mo naku
watashi wa doko e, ittai doko e, mukaeba ii to iu no ka.

Left behind.
Not here, not anywhere
Just where… where should I turn?

誰か、一人でも。同じ、苦しみを。
分かち合えれば、と幻想に逃げながら。

dare ka, hitori demo. onaji, kurushimi wo.
wakachiaereba, to yume ni nigenagara.

Someone… if there were even just one person, who understood…
Who could share this pain with me… I thought as I ran away into dreams, and illusions.

    • FrequencyBlue
    • November 2nd, 2012

    Much appreciated!

    And btw, T★Girls.03 is a reitaisai 9 release, not Comiket 81

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