While the last two songs I’ve translated from MHLL have been rather upbeat, this is not, and it’s a lot more depressing than its paired song “Door” [link], which comes before it.

By the way, due to verbal cues and consistency with the vocalists, the narrator is Renko, despite the themes being much more linked to Merry.

Because Renko often uses 自分 for ‘I’ どうしてそんなにきみは自分を嫌うの? is “Why must you hate me so?” (the other possibility to consider would be “Why do you hate yourself so?”) In this case, it’s kind of one of those set phrases. It’s not really like she thinks she “hates” her, but it’s more like “Is it so difficult to be around me that even when you’re hurting you won’t let me be with you?”

Vocals: うたしま
Arranged: 平茸
Lyrics: aoma
Circle: <echo>Project
Album: Mary Had a Little Love
Event: C81


kyozetsu wo arawasu door kara
moreteiru kimi no naku koe

The sound of you crying creeps through
This shut door – Rejection.

分からないまま 助けを求めて
縋り付いてよ 拒んで恐れているの?

doushite son’na ni kimi wa jibun’ wo kirau no?
wakaranai mama tasuke wo motomete
sugaritsuite yo koban’de osoreteiru no?

Why must you hate me so?
If you’re lost, come to me for help!
Are you afraid I’ll reject you?

壊れたチャイム 何度も押して叫んだ
張り裂けそうな 願い 虚しく

kowareta chime nan’domo oshite sakenda
harisakesou na negai munashiku

I press the broken door chime again and again, screaming,
My bursting pleas trailing off emptily.

刺さるような 淋しさに胸が痛む
鳴らないベル 響く

sasaru you na samishisa ni mune ga itamu
naranai bell hibiku

A sharp loneliness pains my heart
Ringing, though the door bell will not.


kabegoshi kan’jiru taion’
kodou ga hayamaru ki ga shita

Across the wall I feel your body heat, and
I think I feel your heart start to race.


kasuka ni furueru senaka wo awase
nan’domo toikakeru kedo

With our backs together like this, just barely making contact,
I ask you again and again,

小さな歯車 噛み合わなくて

chiisa na haguruma kamiawanakute
shizuka ni tatazun’deiru

But the gears won’t lock together,
Silent and still.

歪んだレール 歩く姿を
見つめている 怯えている
その終わりを 感じている 今も

houtai ni kakusareta sono kizuguchi
yugan’da rail aruku sugata wo
mitsumeteiru obieteiru
sono owari wo kan’jiteiru ima mo

I’ve seen that wound you’ve hidden in bandages, and
When I watch you walk along that twisted rail,
I am afraid – of the end…
I can feel it, even now.

張り裂けそうな 願い 虚しく

kowareta chime nan’domo oshite sakenda
harisakesou na negai munashiku

I press the broken door chime again and again, screaming,
My bursting pleas trailing off emptily.

屋上へ続くドア そっと閉まる
届かないメール 光る

okujou e tsudzuku door sooto shimaru
todokanai mail hikaru

The door to the roof gently closes
A text message that will not be read, shines in the dark.

    • Serativale
    • April 7th, 2012

    For dubstep, this song is still pretty epic (in a sad, depressing way). That aside, someone can make an awesome story of Renko and Maribel just out of this album.

    • Meriole
    • April 7th, 2012

    Hello kafla.

    I found a beautiful song of merami :

    (You don’t force to translate this, is just I love to share the beautiful music of Touhou)

    I hope you like this.
    And thanks for the translation of this album my big sister love it.

    • Acellutor
    • April 7th, 2012

    Thank you very much for this, I thought you were going to put this aside from the rest of the album. Much thanks for the translation.
    Also, hope you’ll recover soon, and being able to keep up with everything. Just don’t force yourself to translate while hospitalzed though.

    • It was honestly a relief to start translating again while I was hospitalized – it was healing just to know I could do it again XD.

  1. Hello there kafla.. I’ve been making a good use of your lyrics lately (especially touhou song arranges by Unlucky Morpheus) and I’m pretty glad there’s somebody doing stuffs like what you do ^_^ But then I saw this song and didn’t found it here.. I thought maybe I could request for a romanji lyric for it. It’s not necessary for it to be translated as long as it is in Romanji.. ^_^ Thank you in advance and keep up the good work!

    • Oh boy, Unlucky Morpheus and romaji – sometimes they give me a run for my money – I’ll give it a quick look and email you the romaji unless it’s absolutely ridiculous or something.

    • Just finished and emailed to the email you used to submit your comment.

      • Yay! Thank you very much! ^_^ You’re so cool.. I wish someday I can be like you too! Thank you thank you thank you thank youuuu!

  2. By the way, I was meaning to ask this but I’ve forgot twice already.. no third time this time though..

    What can you say about Unlucky Morpheus’ takes on touhou songs?

    • Well they definitely stick to their genre of Gothic… metal? maybe? They like to mix the mythology behind the characters with dark themes and it usually turns out pretty interesting, and in contrast to other groups, everything hyper-emphasized.

      I’d say it’s a little chuu-ni-byou, but I eat that stuff up most of the time :3

      Personal preference wise I tend to like the folksy (though if I remember correctly the Chen track on that album is rather folksy) and phantasmagorical more often than Gothic but I still enjoy Unlucky Morpheus’s works.

  3. Am I crazy or does this song really feel like it would lead into 鉄塔 (Which might I add is my absolute favourite track from MHLL, but that’s beside the point)?

    I mainly get that feeling from two lines in it.
    “The door to the roof gently closes” which would lead to the top of the steel tower as well as “When I watch you walk along that twisted rail,” which makes me think of the metal frame mentioned in 鉄塔.

    I could probably just be crazy but it would be neat for the story of the album to start from the end and all of the fluff in it being what leads up to it. Maybe I just like looking for stories in albums too much but it feels like it could work, so maybe I’m not crazy, when it comes to this anyways!

    On a loosely related note: For some reason I find myself enjoying the Renko songs more than the Merry ones, I wonder if that just has to do with my automatic bias towards Renko, definitely a possibility.

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