Comedic Mechanism: Parade of the Jane Does (35/291)

I reserve the right to remove this translation without warning.

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Translation Notes:
[29] An exchange attributed to Natsume Souseki involves him claiming the best way to translate “I love you” into Japanese is to say “The moon is beautiful.”

Comedic Mechanism: Parade of the Jane Does

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: A Night of Unpleasant Rain – 7
Chapter 2: March of the Saints – 95
Chapter 3: An Unbearable Existence in Suffering – 191
Chapter 4: An Emptiness Devoid of Color Contrast – 257

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[16]

There were several bookshelves arranged in an orderly fashion, and nothing else. In fact it was so orderly it seemed unnatural. It was as if those shelves had been born there, and died without anything about them changing. That was the impression Merry felt.

Merry’s boots clicked on the wooden tiles as she walked across the floor. She had thought the red carpeting on the floor had no sense or purpose to its arrangement, but she was wrong. It seemed to be forming a shape, but standing where she was, she was too close to make out the shape in its entirety.

The bookshelves were filled with paper books, and all of them were exquisitely bound. There were leather bound books, clothed hard covers, books with gold and silver lettering and so on.

One of those books caught Merry’s eye. It was a book with a cloudy yellowish white color that had blackened in places. Merry reached out and ran her fingers along the spine. It had a rough feel to it and she thought that it was as if someone had bound this book with human skin.

The title read, “Chance Meeting on a Dissecting Table of a Sewing Machine and an Umbrella”.

Merry used her finger from the top of the spine to pull the book out. It was heavy in her arms. When she brought it close and opened the cover, the mouldy smell which wafted from the pages tickled her nose.

[17]

From the pages which had already began to yellow, she read.

ーSeventeen is a perfect and complete number.

That is how it began.

ーSeventeen is a perfect and complete number. As for the reason why…

“It symbolizes death, and death is a sphere. Spheres, within their limited number of fragments repeat over eternity. No one was able to provide proof for what separates the inside and outside of a circle. The only thing they could think of was to fiddle repetitively with the arrangement of a hundred thirty thousand letters, like the chance meeting on a dissecting table of a sewing machine and an umbrella.”

Someone was reciting the words written in the book.

When Merry reflexively looked up, in the gap made when she removed the book, there was a single lip – half of a pair of lips. From the half mouth’s single lip opening were fingertips. Not fingers with fingertips attached, but only the fingertips, twisted and bent like withered birch, bent and packed into a ball.

Merry gasped and slowly started to take a step back when she finally realized.

[18]

The red velvet carpeting was laid out in the shape of of a person. It was a young girl’s silhouette lying on the floor.

Between the folded legs of the silhouette was a single tea set. The porcelain tea cups’ edges were painted gold, and they were filled with a dark red liquid. Floating on the surface was a single flower. It took a few moments for Merry to realize that it was a colombine flower.

“Eighteen is a perfect and complete number. It is a number formed from the multiplication of the numbers three and six. When eighteen is divided by seventeen, one can say that it is the same as a single fragment of sky passing through the gas pipes.”

Merry felt as if her brain had lurched into a spin.

Dizziness… Vertigo…

It felt as if the entire restricted section of the library was spinning, with Merry at its center.

The bookshelf furthest from the entrance had its books pulled randomly from the shelves, and in those void spaces Merry saw a face… a face whose presence suggested it was the face of the entire room.

[19]

As that thought crossed Merry’s mind, from the bookshelf right beside her, the shelf closest to the floor, an arm reached out. The hand attached to the pale arm had only its thumb and pointer finger, with the others missing. That hand picked up a teacup, as another similar arm reached out to the teapot and poured a dark red tea. Merry could smell the faint fragrance of the tea, and it was bold and sickeningly sweet.

“I wonder, is it more appropriate to say, ‘Welcome’, or ‘How dare you!’ in this situation? At least the present me can’t say for certain. Be that as it may, ‘Welcome’ to this mansion with no master to receive you, Miss Ghost.”

The voice was laughing. The human library buried within the bookshelves was laughing.

“Gh-Ghost?”

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you? Here and… somewhere,” The voice cackled.

“Baths in course tea for beauty marks without too much Bengay. (In the end, is there any meaning in translating these words? Bains de gros thé pour grains de beauté sans trop de bengue.) Well then, Miss Ghost. I see you’ve taken the trouble to come all the way down here, after all. How can I help you?”

“U-Um…”

Words crawled their way through the air, without serving any purpose.

[20]

“When you think about it, books are nothing but caskets, the same as I am. Humans are not reproduced in a shower of raucous laughter. Humans are not reproduced. I am searching for a singularity. For that signifies nothing less than a cultivation of the void.”

Merry did not understand the words that were being spoken to her. What she was saying was…

Is ‘she’ the right word?

Merry looked around. There were countless gaps among the countless bookshelves. In those gaps were mixed the parts of a young woman. From the dead middle of one bookshelf, she could see a thin leg sprawled out. But from where the ankle would be, was not a foot but an ear, such that it looked as if a flower was growing there. The ankle and foot instead were suspended from the ceiling, flickering inside a light bulb. One eye opened from the sole of the foot. A rounded, feminine belly was exposed. In another place was a slit, probably her vagina… but from it gazed a single eye. Merry could see her hips and breasts peeking out from gaps in the top shelf. Then there was a white, frilly cloth. It floated out of several gaps in the bookshelf, and probably was what she was wearing. From the book that Merry held open in her hands, was the paired lip of the other she saw before. It was trembling slightly, as if it were breathing.

“Who… Who are you?” That was all that Merry was able to say.

[21]

The human library raised a melancholic smile.

“I have seen it. I have seen how all of this time every single human being has huddled their shoulders and run off doing countless idiotic things, lowering the intelligence of their peers, spreading the rot of their souls by all means possible. You know what they all claimed as the motivation for their actions? Honor.”

“U-Um…”

“Good afternoon, Miss Ghost. I am a witch. A library witch bestowed with the name of ‘Knowledge’. Yes, a library is nothing but a communal graveyard.”

Merry recognized those words. After all, that is just what she had been thinking about.

“Books are caskets. Why? For they consist of others’ souls buried solely for others to observe them. They are no different than the Jane Does laid in their caskets and placed within rose decorated rooms. The collection books and their storage behind locked doors constitutes nothing but the formation of a communal grave. In a way, you could say that a library is a city. We are but a single casket eternally locked within a city.”

Tea spilled from the overflowing teacup and spread out on the floor.

“The only thing that makes me distinct is the name ‘Patchouli Knowledge’.”

The red liquid, still flowing, had spread all the way to Merry’s feet. As it filled in the area outside of the outline of Merry’s boots, the liquid continued to flood the velvet carpet and wooden tiled floor.

[22]

A sea three centimeters deep now filled the restricted section of the library.

“In the mirror I stared at my mouth, my mouth I had injured of my own free will. I hadn’t thought things through. How was I supposed to know whether this was a normal human smile, when the blood gushing from the two gashes on either side of my face made it so hard to see? But after looking intently in the mirror for a while I could finally see. I could finally see that my smile was no human smile. In fact, I was not smiling at all… Well then, Miss Ghost. From where should I begin?”

Silently a finger, a pointer finger and nothing more, reached from the bookshelf and slowly traced Merry’s lips. It continued to move, from her lips to along her jaw, along the path of her tears.

“But the void was not cultivated,” Patchouli continued. “I cannot help but be silent in the face of the fact that it is yet impossible, in the same way that you cannot help but be silent about things which you cannot speak.”

“Is that Wittgenstein?” Merry interjected reflexively. She had read Wittgenstein as a requirement for one of her lectures.

“Yes, his ‘now’ was hundreds of years ago, and his theory is still incomplete.”

“Incomplete?”

“Everything was incomplete, be it the definition of existence, existential meaning… Everything was left incomplete, while everyone died insane. Logic fills the world, and the limits of logic are the limits of the world. In other words, it is impossible to have others accept what which you yourself cannot understand. This is despite the fact that everything exists on an outer shell. For whenever you look into a mirror, you are being looked at by yourself residing within it.”

[23]

Merry heard the sound of something crawling about. When she looked behind herself, she saw a chair. In that chair a young woman’s body was seated. The body was armless and legless, only a torso. The stomach was separated by a grating, a grating that traced along the body’s entrails. Buried in the very center between the heart and stomach behind the grating was a microphone.

A static noise echoed in Merry’s ears. Where the body’s head should be, from its neck upwards, was a birdcage. In the birdcage, tightly fit, was a picture of a blue sky.

[24]

It was an empty sky. But the sky was twisted into an unnatural shape. It shape was almost like that of a human eye. In the very center was a pitch black sphere. That is all there was. (A false mirror, or perhaps a mechanical boy.)

From the microphone howled a noise ridden voice. It produced a resonance in Merry’s ears, and she felt as if they would burst. She felt thousands of rusty needles piercing her brain.

Vertigo… Dull pain… Nausea… Dizziness…

The flickering restricted section and the young woman’s body which would not collapse… Her face in the gaps between bookshelves and her violet bellflower hair… The scarlet velvet carpeting… The geometric layerings of the wooden tiles… The shelves, the ceiling, the spiral stairwell…

All moved with uniform velocity repetitively in different ways. (Many critics discuss the ways in which M.C. Escher’s images define spaces which do not exist, but why will no one talk about the fact that what is necessary is not a pure formulation, but something completely removed from it, and nothing but that?)

The library itself began to move about and become entangled in itself. It was like a fetus in the womb. Yes a fetus kicking in the womb.

[25]

A scarlet puddle spread from Merry’s feet. (Menstrual blood is a crimson pollutant.)

Within was reflected faintly a spinning circular surface.

The tea, which like frozen blood had clung to the surface, cracked and flaked off as it spun, creating a series of patterns, a series of letters by Merry’s feet.

What was it that rose from the surface? That word… Merry no longer remembers.

***

“What you’re telling me sounds far too vague and indeterminate to be a dream… in my opinion anyway.”

Merry sat across from her friend, Usami Renko, on an open café terrace located within the West Kyoto University grounds. Renko looked somewhat annoyed as she responded to Merry’s story, in between sips of her synthetic coffee.

[26]

“Well I’m not disagreeing with you…”

In her hands, Merry felt the temperature of her light brown milk tea in its plastic cup slowly drop as it was exposed to the surrounding air. It was just past noon. Morning lectures were over and afternoon lectures had yet to begin. While the crowds around them were loud and bustling enough to be a nuisance, they all kept passing by, giving Merry the impression that just Renko and her were being left behind somehow.

Merry took a sip of her milk tea and felt only its sweet fragrance pass down her throat. Whether the tea itself was synthetic or not was minor compared to the overwhelming additive flavors of saccharine and synthetic milk, clearly there to mask the cheap flavor of the tea, and Merry felt them stinging on her throbbing tongue.

However, Merry thought as she wiped the bit of milk tea left on her lips with her ring finger, there was no way for her to really know what true milk tea really tasted like. Her impression of the milk tea in her hands was limited to the fact that, “This is a drink that is called ‘milk tea’,” as she could not compare it to the original. True milk tea had long been left only to the realm of high class connoisseurs, and even the price of food plotter cartridges with non-synthetic ingredients far exceeded the budget of a university student.

By Renko and Merry’s generation, all food products were synthesized with 3D plotters. Synthesized end-product food items could be printed by loading cartridges in specialized machines, where the cartridges were filled with a putty composed of various ingredients the product required. The cost of each cartridge depended on the composition of the putty, where the more pure and less complex its composition was, the cheaper it cost. However, if the aim was to accurately reflect a product’s natural flavor, it was necessary to include impure ingredients and randomized variable components in the putty to an appropriate degree, resulting in added costs of production unnecessary for cartridges with only purified ingredients.

[27]

It was in this way that “true flavor” had become a luxury product for the wealthy. But while the luxury of “true flavor” was still available, handmade food items made from natural ingredients simply did not exist anymore. Not only was the manufacturing of such products incredibly inefficient, human rights groups had claimed the working conditions and labor involved were intolerably restrictive of the human rights and freedoms of both men and women, and this had long ago led to a trend of self-regulation and decline of such products within the food industry.

Therefore, for Merry and Renko it was impractical to try to experience the so called “flavors of old”. For them, only the costs registered on the scales. After all, “true flavor” relied heavily on impurities, and these impurities only served to muddy the flavors they were more familiar with.

“Well let’s see then, Miss Merry… You think this is a case of your eyes being too sensitive?”

Renko took another sip of her similarly cheap flavored coffee. (Renko herself had trouble viewing the kind of coffee that she was drinking as a cheap knockoff however. Her reasoning was linked to the arguments above. To Renko, “coffee” was simply a black liquid that was both bitter and acidic, which she only valued as a means to ingest caffeine.)

“Well, it is true that this time I couldn’t tell where the boundary between the dream world and the present was, but…”

Ever since Merry was discharged from the sanatorium in Shinshuu, there had been times where Merry not only could see beyond the boundary between this world and the dream world, but where doing so resulted in a time-displacement which removed her from the present time axis.

[28]

That phenomenon had occurred before when Merry and Renko had shared their senses. However, from the look on Merry’s face, it didn’t seem that she was as sure of what happened as when she had brought back an Izanagi plate fragment.

“…all that I saw… none of it made any sense,” Merry muttered.

“Well if that’s the case, I wonder what you really did see?”

“I have no idea. It was like I was inside a Dali painting.”

“Dali?”

“Oh? Miss Usami the know-it-all doesn’t know who Dali is?”

“Unfortunately I don’t. Care to fill me in on who this dreamer is?”

“He’s not a ‘dreamer’, just an artist.”

“An artist, huh.” Renko rolled her head back and up towards the sky, before putting her over both eyes with a look of disgust written all over her face.

“Stop it. You know I can never understand any of that poetic stuff,” Renko moaned.

“Are you sure? His paintings are as if you took facets of human psychology and fed them directly through a 2D plotter. They’re definitely worth a look.”

[29]

“But you can’t take any of that and boil it down into a set theory. It’s the same as the fact that no matter how you phrase a statement about the moon’s beauty, you can’t convey love.”

“You really don’t have any passion, do you?”

“Well, it’s not like you can make babies with passion.”

“Isn’t passion a necessary part of the process?”

“The way I see it, the kind of relationship you need to make babies is nothing but a form of mutual dependency. Why else do you think god would have necessitated a game-like process for our reproduction?”

“So you won’t recognize passion, but you’ll admit it’s like a game?”

“Well, of course.”

“Either way…” Merry smiled weakly. “I have the feeling our conversation not only lacks passion, but also is starting to get a bit vulgar.”

“Agreed. However…”

Renko paused and took her coffee cup between her thumb and pointer finger of one hand, swinging it back and forth like a pendulum as she rested her head on the palm of her other hand and stared straight at her friend.

“Whether what you saw was a dream or a product of your eyes being too sensitive… I wonder what it was supposed to show or mean,” finished Renko.

[30]

“Was she was saying to me was so abstract, I’m not even sure I’ve conveyed it accurately to you.”

“Well that’s to be expected. You know what they say, the only ones who can memorize Heine poetry are tape recorders. It’s impossible for normal people.”

“Is this you trying to console me?”

“I’m only stating the obvious.”

“If you say so.”

“Anyway, can you still see that human library?”

“No, unless you count me visualizing her when I trace back over my memories. I might be able to meet her again if I go back to the library, but to be honest, I’m not at all thrilled at the thought.”

“Good point. If I were you, I’d want to pass on a second encounter.”

“Right?”

“But I’ll admit, I’d still welcome a first encounter.”

“It was bad enough for me the first time…”

With a clack, Renko set her coffee-filled cup to the side and leaned in towards Merry.

“I wonder if I’d be able to see her, like that time before,” Renko said.

“Like that time before…? Oh, you mean the time with the Izanagi plate?”

[31]

“Yeah. If what you saw was really something beyond the boundary, then I might be able to sense a fragment of it. Then I might be able to help you understand it, don’t you think?”

“Hmm… Well, I’m not sure what you’ll see… but you might be able to see something… Shall we give it a try?”

Renko silently closed her eyes in response. Merry reached out her hand, so that her pointer finger and middle finger hid Renko’s eyes from her view.

Merry heard a squishy clicking sound as if a gear had started moving deep inside her brain, and noise started to fill her consciousness.

Merry felt her pupils convulse and her eyeballs tremble as her and Renko’s consciousnesses connected.

Quietly, she could feel the fibers ripped from both of their egos touch and tangle.

Renko’s consciousness came to Merry as a minor feedback to the signal of her own consciousness, and she felt a rough texture like sand on her tongue. She felt her feeling of balance slowly crumble under a rotating motion.

[32]

To make an analogy, it was as if there was a screen in front of Merry’s eyes that was split in two. The two separate halves were on the same timeline, experienced the same surrounding noise, projected the same crowds around them, but something was off. There was a sort of phase shift between the two sides, as if there was a small frame delay, a delay of less than point-five seconds. While this disparity continued, something different began to be displayed on the right side of the screen. It was as if someone had fed two layers of different film into the same projector. (For the sake of a half-crushed right eye.)

The two layers of screen began to bleed into each other. The fuse was lit. Filaments. Bamboo filaments. Filaments that carried the heat and burned scarlet. They did not glow. Instead only the distinctness of the shadows melted away.

A screen split in two halves. The bustle of students behind the screen. The shadows of people moving past. Mixing projections. Violet bellflower. The human library.

[33]

Scarlet velvet. A clock. A witches clock. It was a machine. A stage of human shaped clocks. Humans.

The gears turned, the human library’s cage’s bird.

There was the image of a human twisted into a rectangle. Beans spilt over the floor. The soft innards of a boiled bean, perhaps a portent of rebellion, an insurrection from the inside.

Images blurred in multiple layers.

A leg of the human library kicked down a man. No, wait. Those two images were from separate layers. That was only the product of the collage. The two images weren’t on the same axis of space, nor on the same axis of time.

Students kept walking by. One of their heads was a cash register.

Merry had only seen cash registers in reference books, in pictures from when people still frequented convenience stores. It was used in monetary exchanges. A machine made specifically to handle physical currency. A machine long dead.

[34]

Now the human library was kicking the back of the student with the cash register head.

There was a hat at the feet of a young man. There were several hats on the ground.

Again, this meant nothing in terms of space. This meant nothing in terms of time.

Upon the countless hats were eyes. A pattern of opened slits in the shape of eyes.

A single slit. It was placed on the ground. Regularity. What could be seen in it was a single spiral.

It was rotating. The hats were following the path of its rotation.

Everything was rotating. A rotating quiescent point.

“The child who suckles is a hot-flesh blower and doesn’t like hot-house cauliflower.” (L’enfant qui tête est un souffleur de chair chaude et n’aime pas le chou-fleur de serre-chaude.) Those letters alone kept spinning.

Merry’s split vision with the two halves split yet again. Now there were four quarters. The upper left and upper right were the same as before, showing the students. In the bottom right were endless diaries. In the bottom left was…

It was… an eye. An non-rotating pupil. Countless boundaries. Proclaiming. Ghost. What was there was. What it was was… a butterfly specimen.

[35]

“Stop!”

Merry’s hand was slapped away.

Merry could see Renko in front of her, her face as white as porcelain, her lips trembling.

“I’m sorry I just… Please…” Renko’s fingers were shaking.

“I-I should be the one apologizing,” said Merry.

“I’m… I’m going to go now, okay?” said Renko, hurriedly gathering her things before leaving without another word.

The bustle of the crowd began to fade away.

After all, it’s almost time for afternoon classes to start, thought Merry, standing up from her chair.

***

Comedic Mechanism: Parade of the Jane Does (15/291)

I reserve the right to remove this translation without warning.

Progress:
[15/291]
[35/291]

This an experiment.

If you would like to see more, please donate. [PayPal]

Translation Notes:
[5] Also written throughout the book in the margins as “A Dream of Unpleasant Rain”
[14] “John’s Staircase” – The real world equivalent is “St. Joseph’s Staircase”.

Comedic Mechanism: Parade of the Jane Does

[5]

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: A Night of Unpleasant Rain – 7
Chapter 2: March of the Saints – 95
Chapter 3: An Unbearable Existence in Suffering – 191
Chapter 4: An Emptiness Devoid of Color Contrast – 257

[7]

Chapter 1: A Dream of Unpleasant Rain

[9]

―May a theatric death befall us all.

A white cylindrical building stood in a corner of West Kyoto University’s campus.

In front of that building stood Maribel Hearn.

“Why is it that paper books still exist as a medium, so many years since the start of the scientific age?” Merry wondered to herself absentmindedly.

According to her friend Usami Renko, it had something to do with the discrimination in the value of different types of information. Merry walked through the entrance of the building as its curved glass doors slid into the walls on either side, and stepped onto the light green carpeting inside the building.

To prevent the degradation that information on paper faces over the years, that information can be digitized and thus made nearly permanent, easily passed on for generations to come. The value of information considered for digitization is weighed against the costs involved in the process and if the information is not deemed valuable enough then it is left to degrade in its current form, knowing that information will someday be lost. At least that’s what Merry’s friend asserted.

“If that’s the case…”

Merry walked across the communal space in the center of the building and over to a reception desk alongside the far wall.

[10]

Beside the reception desk was a small gate, like the automatic gates you pass through at a train station on your way to the platform. Beyond it was a cramped spiral stairwell which led to the restricted library section in the basement.

There were not any bookshelves in the communal space, but ten or twenty terminals. From those terminals, using the number on a student ID as well as vein identification (When people turn twelve years old, a microchip is embedded in their wrist with their biological information. Paper based identification, along with signatures were largely abandoned due to problems they presented in the past. With the digitization of such information, information for personal identification could be accessed from a database, which in turn could be accessed from any terminal device using their microchip. It is in this way that an individuals were identified, their souls ruled by numbers.), any digitized information could be readily accessed and downloaded into your personal terminal. Like in fairy tales, there was no borrowing limit, and the information did not have to be returned.

Because of this, the communal space was mostly empty. The only people there were people who wanted a desk to work on, and those who wanted a quiet place to sleep in between classes. There was no one else.

If you exclude the first floor communal area and the restricted section in the basement, this building was nothing but a box for servers which held all of the digitized data. That’s why the building was in the shape of a cylinder. It was the most effective way, at least so Merry had heard at some point or another, despite not really understanding why it was supposed to be an effective shape.

At the reception desk a single librarian idled about, clearly bored.

[11]

“Excuse me. I would like permission to enter the restricted section.”

Without answering, it wasn’t clear whether the librarian had actually listened to what Merry said, but he put a square box about twenty centimeters on each side in front of her. Merry put her wrist over the box, and a soft electric hum could be heard. The gate to the side quietly opened.

With a slight nod, Merry walked through the gate on her way to the restricted section.

The near and far side of the gate. A single thin barrier. It did not even reach to the ceiling and yet Merry felt as if the air about her had changed. Of course, it wasn’t as if there really was a difference in the condition of the air from one side to the other. It was nothing more than a sensory illusion, but Merry liked this sort of feeling. The feeling of a boundary.

It was nothing but a small gate, which separated the present and relics of the past already thrown away. Merry thought about the words of her friend.

This was information whose value was not seen as worth saving for future generations. Still, these were the words of people who were already dead, that they had left behind.

“Surely, what I’m walking into is a coffin,” Merry thought vaguely to herself.

Words wanted by no one.

[12]

The people that wrote them might have spent their whole lives doing so. Invisible words not heard by anyone. Everything which was denied passage to the next generation. Among them might be poetry, senseless theories, works on subjects of study already lost. Even so, Merry could not help but feel uncomfortable cutting all of that away as unnecessary.

Uncomfortable. She couldn’t really put what she felt into words. Discomfort? No, that wasn’t it either.

It was probably the same feeling that someone gets when they look at abandoned ruins, buildings that have lost their use, buildings that were built for someone, buildings not loved by anyone, everything. Perhaps it was due to monetary reasons, structural reasons, but it wasn’t the reason behind it that mattered, only the reality that they were no longer loved by anyone. That was…

Sad.

Surely Merry was being consumed by her heart, by the sadness she felt.

[13]

The stairwell was just large enough for a single person to walk down. With each step Merry watched out of the corner of her eye herself descend into the boundary between floors. From below she could smell the rust-like smell of paper. The sort of materials necessary for a student’s thesis were all digitized and could be downloaded from a terminal. Archeology and paleontology, hunting down the kind of folklore left only in the minds of the elderly, fossils on the brink of collapse were all unnecessary. All of that information was digitized, it was placed inside the living box.

“So why am I descending into the restricted section?” Merry wondered. “It must be because I feel sad.”

The conclusion she had just made felt as if it were caught in her throat. Her brain whispered that trying to reason about it anymore was unnecessary.

“A communal graveyard filled with the words of several people now dead,” she thought, as her leather boot clicked on the iron steps as she walked, filling the silence.

No one had any interest in what lie under the library. Never did Merry feel the presence of another down here, and that hadn’t changed today. Still, something felt different, but she could not put her finger on it.

Despite the fact that nothing should have changed, Merry felt some disparity between her memories and the present, sticking to the steps. She put her hands on the railing, and the cheap ring on her left hand glinted faintly, but beyond that ring…

[14]

Merry then realized the center pillar that was always there before was gone.

Due to the structure of a spiral staircase, if there is no center pillar, the staircase will be unable to support itself and collapse. In her memories, the pillar was there, but not now, not on this staircase. A phrase slowly came to mind.

“John’s Staircase”

It was a spiral staircase built in a church somewhere. After the church had been built, someone realized that there was no set of stairs connecting the first and second floors. They were no remaining funds to build a proper extension to the building, but while everyone wondered what to do, a man arrived at the church. With only a ruler, a saw, and a small toolbox, it is said that he built a staircase in a single night, the staircase now known as John’s Staircase. The staircase had no supporting pillar, and it was said that a hymnal choir could stand on its steps and it would not collapse.

Merry gripped the railing a little more tightly than she normally would. When was it that they changed the stairs? No, no that wasn’t it. That’s not it.

Merry felt her vision lurch along with her brain. The left side of her face was convulsing. The area of her cheek under her eye twitched like an electrocuted frog’s leg, and she felt something in her throat. Her pulse had quickened.

The stairs.

[15]

Like cracks in window glass the space below her had cracked. She could see the boundary lines. Beneath her, the words she liked, the words that had been laughed off and scorned as worthless, it was if they were screaming.

Merry took one step down. Subconsciously she felt herself trying to descend. Somewhere inside her her sense of reason was wailing. But still her body would not listen. It must be that somewhere inside her was the desire to witness it. She wanted to know the screams that echoed forth from the books proclaimed worthless.

It was like exposing the boundaries… but no. No, it wasn’t right to compare the two, and so she…

To the left of the stairs, along the railing which was not attached to any pillar, there was a single thin pipe which stuck out, and fused to it was a plate.

“1 1/17th Floor”

The stairs continued down into the basement, but Merry could not venture any further.

Over wooden tiles lay a red velvet carpeting, placed in an irregular fashion, and it was upon this floor that Merry stepped. Nothing had changed. The violent array of cracks in space did not fill this floor, but still somehow she knew. This floor itself was a crack in space. The boundary lay right in front of her eyes.

[16]

旧約酒場 ~ Dateless Bar “Old Adam” // Kyuuyaku Sakaba // Old Testament Bar

I needed to complete this a year ago, but better late than never, right?

Enjoy.

Notes:
燕石 “Enseki” (literally “Sparrow Stones) is a really rare word, but is a perfect fit for this CD. The word refers to the false jewels that can be found at 燕山 “Mt. Sparrow”. They look like precious stones but they are worthless, sort of like fool’s gold. So the word refers both to the fakes, and also the act of treasuring something as if it were rare, when it is really commonplace and worthless. In addition to this there was a series of rare books/journals written in the Edo period named 燕石十種 or “Ten Types of Enseki”, filled with strange tales and curiosities and customs. There were six series with ten parts each. I would say there’s a direct connection.

博物誌 “Hakubutsushi” is literally translated as “Document(/Magazine) of Broad Knowledge” (what it means is clearer if you understand that 博物館 Hakubutsukan is “museum”, and not limited to a museum that deals with history) but it is also the Japanese translated title of Pliny the Elder’s “Naturalis Historiæ” (Natural History), which was the first sort of encyclopedia ever compiled. A good modern corollary is a scientific journal, and I have translated it as such, but this is why the subtitle is called “Our Supernatural History”. Incidentally this “Natural History” included descriptions of things that were pretty much Western Youkai.

Maribel Hearn (マエリベリー・ハーン) is an approximation, where Merry’s first name has been posited as being closer in pronunciation to “my reverie” or a corruption of “mulberry”. Either way, it’s a play on words off of Yukari Yakumo. (紫八雲)

Chuunibyou (中二病) translates literally to “8th Grade Sickness”, and refers to delusions a kid of that age has about themselves and the world around them, and about how special they are. It is described better by ZUN in the afterward.

旧約酒場 ~ Dateless Bar “Old Adam”
 Kyuuyaku Sakaba
 Old Testament Bar

――幻視する者達が集う場所があるという。
そこは、旧型酒特有の眠くなるような甘い匂いのする酒場だった。
上海アリス幻樂団が奏でる、奇妙で癖の強い音楽集第九弾

-They say there is a place where those who can see the other side gather.
A bar from which wafts that sleep inducing, particular smell of old-style liquor.
The Shanghai Alice Illusionary Orchestra brings you its ninth album, full of music with strong and peculiar tones.

01.
バー・オールドアダム
“Bar “Old Adam””

 「――いらっしゃいませ」

“-Welcome,”

 バーの愛想の無いマスターがこちらも見ずに言う。

said the bartender, without any feeling and without looking towards the door.

 「貴方がDr.レイテンシーですね。
  お待ちしておりました」

“You must be Dr. Latency. We’ve been waiting for you.”

 そう聞かれた髭を蓄えた初老の男性が、無言で手を上げる。
 否定とも肯定とも取れる仕草だが、こういう曖昧な態度を取る人間は肯定だと思われたいだけの人間である

A man with a beard in his forties or fifties raised his hand in response, without saying a word.
It was a response that could be taken either as an affirmation or negation, but the only kind of people who make those kind of vague gestures are ones who want others to take it as an affirmation.

 男はカウンターに座ると聞いた事も無い名前のお酒を頼んだ。

The man sat at the bar and ordered a drink I had never heard of.

 「あれ、誰?」
 「さあねぇ、いわゆる匿名希望って奴でしょう」
 と宇佐見蓮子は答えた。

“Huh, who is that?”
“Who knows? Bet he’s one of those people that wants to stay anonymous,” Usami Renko answered.

 マエリベリー・ハーン(メリー)の疑問は当然だ。
 Dr.レイテンシーとはメリーのペンネームなのだから。

Maribel Hearn (Merry)’s confusion was certainly justified.
After all, “Dr. Latency” is Merry’s pen name.

02.
燕石博物誌が連れてきた闇
“Dark Side of Japan”
 Enseki Hakubutsushi ga Tsuretekita Yami
 The Darkness Brought on by “Dr. Latency’s Freak Report”

 「こんな不気味なお店に連れてきてまで、
  蓮子は見せたかったのはあのお爺さん?」
 「それは偶然ね。
  でも、秘封倶楽部の課外活動としては最高だわ」

“Renko, did you really bring me all the way to this creepy place just to show me that old man? You said you wanted to show me something, right?”

“Oh, his coming is just a coincidence. But really, this place is perfect for our Sealing Club’s extracurricular activities.”

 蓮子の話によるとこのお店では、夜な夜な 特殊・・な人間達が集まっては独自の経験談を語ったり、意見交換をしたりしているのだという。

According to Renko, some rather… strange people gather here every night to talk about their personal experiences and exchange opinions.

 蓮子は二人が作った同人誌、「燕石博物誌」を売っている時にその情報を仕入れたらしいが・・・。

Renko apparently heard about this place when she was selling the doujinshi they made, “Dr. Latency’s Freak Report”…

 あくまでもこのお店の客に限っての話だが、燕石博物誌は有名で、殆どの客が読んでいて、内容も信じているのだという。
 それもそのはず、このお店に来ている客は皆、燕石博物誌に書かれているような体験と、同じような体験をした事があると言っているらしい。

She said that among the patrons of the bar, their report was famous. Most everyone here had read it, and believed its contents were true. Which made sense, given the fact that everyone who came to this bar claimed they too had experienced the same sort of happenings described in the report.

03.
リバースイデオロギー
Reverse Ideology

 今の時代、お酒を出すお店は大きく二つに分かれている。
 ”新型酒”を出す普通の店と、”旧型酒”を出す店だ。

In this day and age, the kind of establishments that serve alcoholic beverages are split into two types: the normal sort of places which serve “modern” liqour, and those which serve “traditional” liqour.

 新型酒は、一般的に広く呑まれているお酒で、酔いつぶれないような工夫がされている。依存も低く、比較的身体に害は無い。
 旧型酒は古くから呑まれてきたお酒であり、自然の酵母が作り上げたお酒である。多分にアルコールを含んでいるが、アルコールの分解を促進する酵素などは一切含まれていない。呑めば酔う。

Modern liquor refers to the kind which is most popularly consumed, and it is manufactured in such a way as to prevent drunkenness and hangovers. It is not particularly addictive, and it has relatively few side effects. Traditional liqour refers the kind that has been consumed historically, and is made using natural yeast. Despite containing a significant alcoholic content, it has no enzymes in it to help process the alcohol. If you drink it you will get drunk.

 このバー・オールドアダムは、旧型酒を専門に取り扱っているお店だ。

This place, “Bar Old Adam”, specializes exclusively in traditional liquor.

 新酒を取り扱うお店は、酔っ払いすぎる人がいないので、常に綺麗である。衛生的で健康的だ。
 一方、一般的に旧型酒を取り扱う店の方が、その古典的居酒屋の習わしからか建物も古く、汚いお店が多い。それに客も何だか質が悪いようだ。

As the establishments which serve modern liquor don’t have any patrons who get drunk, they tend to be clean and hygenic. On the other hand, the establishments which serve primarily traditional liquor tend to be in old buildings, like classical bars, and there are more dirty ones than clean ones. The kind of patrons that frequent those places don’t seem to be the best sort either.

 しかし、旧型酒の方が高く、貴重品なのだ。
 ここで価値観の逆転が起こっている。つまり、お金に余裕が有る者が、選んで汚いお店で酔いつぶれるという事態が起こっているのだ

Yet at the same time, traditional liquor is more prized and more expensive than modern liquor.
In other words, in this instance, the values system has been turned on its head. Those that have money to spare are going out of their way to get drunk in dirty bars.

04.
アウトサイダーカクテル
Outsider Cocktail

 「結構高いのね」
 「旧型酒だからねぇ。
  でも、いつもの安酒より本格的に酔えるわよ」
 「お酒に酔っても健康的にいられるのかしら」
 「健康的? よーく考えてみてよ。
  お酒、油、塩分、糖質、カフェイン、グルテン……、食の健康に
  関しては過度に注意するくせに、医療が進化すぎてなかなか人が
  死なないもんだから、計画的に寿命を決めようとしているでしょ?
  社会は人を生かしたいんだか、殺したいんだか判んないよね。
  高い金を払って旧型酒を呑んでいる人達はリアリストだわ」

“This is pretty expensive.”
“Well it’s traditional liquor after all. But with this we can get a lot more drunk than with the cheap stuff we always drink.”
“I wonder if you can get drunk and still be healthy.”
“Healthy? Think about it for a minute. Be it alcohol content, fat, sodium, sugar, caffeine, gluten… Despite the fact that we take so much care to balance these things in our food for our health, the advancements in our medicine have gone so far people don’t really die anymore. It’s gotten to the point where people plan out how long they want to live, right? I can’t tell anymore whether our society is trying to keep people alive or kill them. The people who pay lots of money to drink traditional liquor are far more realistic, I say.”

 お酒は人を饒舌にさせる。
 お酒を呑むと人は必ず自己肯定をする。これがアルコールの一つの効能だ。お酒はこの効能で、人間社会を裏から動かしてきたのである。

Alcohol makes people talkative.
When people drink alcohol they always end up affirming themselves. This is one of alcohol’s side effects. It is because of this effect that alcohol has always pushed human society along behind the scenes.

 マスターが二人のテーブルに黄色いカクテルを置いた。
 これは?と聞くと、「フォービドゥンサイダー」と答えた。他の客にも同じお酒を配っている。

The bartender brought two yellow cocktails to the pair’s table.
When they asked what it was, he replied that the drink was called “The Forbidden Cider”. He served the same drink to several other customers.

 「サイダー? ジュースなの?」
 「サイダーは林檎のお酒よ。
  このお酒が配られたと言う事は、どうやら始まりそうね」

“Cider? Is this some kind of juice?”
“Cider is an alcoholic beverage made from apples. Given that this is being passed around, it looks like it’s about to begin.”

05.
大神神話伝
“Story of Mythomiwa”
 Oomiwa Shinwaden
 The Myth of Oomiwa

 ――あれは数年前。奈良に行った時の話です。
 パワースポットで大変有名な三輪山に入山したんですね。
 ほら、私もオカルト好きの身として有名なところは大抵足を運んでいたんですが、そういえば三輪山には登ったことが無かったな、と思いまして。

-It happened a few years ago, when I went to Nara.
I was climbing Mt. Miwa, which is famous for being a spiritual power spot.
You see, as a lover of the occult, I had been to most of the famous spots before, when I realized one day that I hadn’t yet gone to Mt. Miwa.

 ええ、最近は県が入山を制限している事は知っています。その理由が公表されないので、逆に興味を惹いていますよね。

Yes, I know that in recent years the prefecture has put restrictions on who can climb the mountain and when, but when they never make clear the reasons why, it only grabs your interest more, doesn’t it?

 規制中なのに、どうやって入ったのかって?
 丁度その時、仕事も家庭も上手くいってなくて……。神頼みというか自暴自棄になっていまして。それで真夜中にこっそりと忍び込みまして……。

How did I get into the area when it was restricted?
Well you see, at the time I was having trouble at my job and with my family… I was kind of at the end of the rope so to speak and was willing to do anything, so I snuck in in the middle of the night.

 そうしたら嫌と言うほど判りましたよ。入山規制の理由が。

When I did it was painfully clear why they were keeping people away from the mountain.

 蛇ですよ。蛇。それはもう大量の蛇がウヨウヨしてまして……。
 三輪山では蛇は神様だから手が出せないんでしょうな。
 あれだけ蛇が増えて餌は何を食べているんでしょうねぇ……。
 奈良県の寿命統制がピカイチ進んでいるのは関係無いですよねぇ……。

There were snakes, tons and tons of snakes, slithering all about….
They probably couldn’t do anything about it, because at Mt. Miwa snakes are treated as dieties.
With that many snakes I wonder what they’re all eating….
It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Nara is leading the country in life span control, now would it?

06.
パンデモニックプラネット
“Pandemoniac Planet”

 ――人口が減って、人村自然分離の原則が支配している現在、山村の多くが廃村になった事は当然知っていると思う。

-As the population declines and the remaining population centers in cities, I’m sure you know that many rural villages in the mountains have been abandoned.

 しかし、僅かながら今も山奥に村を維持している地域がある事を知っているかい?
 俺はこういう村を探して訪ねるのが日課となっているんだが、つい

However, did you know that while few in number, there are still some areas deep in the mountains that still have been able to maintain their villages? I make it my daily routine to go out and search for those villages.

 数ヶ月前の事だ。山の多いあの県、奇妙な村を見つけてな。

This happened a few months ago, in that prefecture full of mountains. I found this really peculiar village.

 どうも村民も昔から住んでいたのでは無く、廃村を見つけてアウトロー達が住み着いたようだったんだが、とにかく変なんだよ。
 見た事も無い宗教が広まっていて、一日中空いでいる時間があれば必ず祠に向かって祈っていたんだ。

Now the people that lived there hadn’t been living there for generations, you see. Apparently a group of outlaws had found this abandoned village and made it their home, but it really was very strange. They had this religion unlike any I had ever seen before. Throughout the day, whenever anyone had any free time, they would always turn towards one of many little shrines and pray.

 それの何処がおかしいのかって?
 それがさ、祈っている対象が神か仏じゃなくて、あちこちの祠に納められていたのは、何やら黒い物体だったんだ……。

What’s so strange about that, you ask?
Well you see, they weren’t praying to any sort of god or the Buddha, but this black thing that was housed in all of the little shrines…

 それは誰かの髪の毛だったんだよ。
 髪の毛を拝んでいたんだよ、髪の毛教だよ。気持ち悪いだろ?
 恐らく、開祖は髪が薄かったんだろうな(笑)

It was hair. It was someone’s hair.
They were praying to hair. It was a hair cult. Gross, don’t you think?
I bet the founder of the religion had a balding problem, haha.

07.
旧世界の冒険酒場
“Fantasy Guild”
 Kyuusekai no Bouken’ Sakaba
 Old World Adventurer’s Bar

 「うーん。
  これって怪談大会?」
 「どうやら、それに近いわねぇ。
  真偽はわからないけど、一応本人の不思議な体験談って形をとっているね」
 「こういっちゃあ何だけど、秘密倶楽部みたいなバーで、いい大人達が……」
 「あら、後でメリーも体験を語るのよ」
 「うえー、やっぱり、そうなるよねー」

“Hmm… So is this some sort of scary story tournament?”
“I guess you could call it that. I don’t know whether these stories are made up or not, but it seems like they all follow a format of them being ‘strange personal experiences’.”
“I suppose I shouldn’t be talking, but for all these adults to be coming to this bar like it’s there version of our Sealing Club is a little…”
“Hm? Your turn to talk about your experiences is going to come around too you know?”
“Come on, really? I guess I should have known…”

 メリーは自らの不思議な体験は、紛れもない真実だと判っている。
 しかし、他人の不思議体験は何故か信じられなかった。人を誑かそうとしているとしか思えなかった。

Merry knew that her own strange experiences were all real. However, she wasn’t able to believe any of the strange experiences described by the other people in the bar. She couldn’t imagine any of those stories were anything but lies made to deceive others.

 ふと、何故蓮子は私の体験談を信じるのだろう、と思った。
 やっぱり、私の話が上手いからかな、とメリーは照れた。

At that point, Merry paused and wondered why Renko ever believed any of her stories.
“Maybe it’s because I’m just really good at telling stories,” she thought, blushing.

 「――蛇と同じで髪の毛の信仰は原始からあるね。
  再生性が何か人間の信仰プロセスに関わっているんだわ」

“-Well belief systems centered around both hair and snakes have been around since the beginning of time. Their resurgence must be connected to humans’ belief processes.”

 蓮子は殆どみんなの話を信じているようだった。

It seemed that Renko believed almost everyones’ stories.

08.
魔界地方都市エソテリア
“E.S.O.T.E.R.I.A.”
 Makai Chihou Toshi Esoteria
 Rural Makai City Esoteria

 「では、本日は初めて参加するお嬢さん。
  何か不思議で、他に類を見ない体験談はあるかな?」

“Well then, let us have the newcomer share. Miss, do you have a strange experience to share, one like no one has ever heard before?”

 「あ、はい。
  マエリベリーと申します。
  今からお話する内容は、全て私が体験した
  不思議で特異な体験談です」

“Um, yes. My name is Maribel. The story I am about to tell is something I have personally experienced, a unique and strange tale.”

 辺りが少しざわついた。
 メリーの放つ異世界のオーラなのか、
 それとも若い女の子が話すので驚いただけなのか。

The other people in the bar murmured to themselves. Was it because of the otherworldly aura that Merry gave off, or was it simply because they were surprised to see that the next person to tell their story was a young girl?

 メリーは色んな体験談を話した。

Merry talked about a number of her experiences.

 墓場から異世界を覗き見た事。
 異世界の竹林を彷徨った事。
 緑に侵食された衛星から宇宙を見た事。

She talked about how she peeked at another world from a graveyard.
She talked about how she got lost in the bamboo forest of another world.
She talked about how she saw space from a satellite overrun with plants

 異世界ではいつも異形の怪物に襲われた事。
 そして、誰かに助けられた瞬間、目が覚めて元の世界に戻る事。

She talked about how she had been attacked by monsters in other worlds.
She talked about how the moment she was saved by someone she always woke up back in this world.

 この場にふさわしい、異世界の冒険談だ。
 しかし何故か微妙に場の空気が重かった。

These tales, these adventures in other worlds were truly fitting for the occasion.
However, for some reason they did not seem to go over very well.

 その理由はDr.レイテンシーと名乗った男のひと言で判った。

That reason was made clear by the man who had passed himself off as Dr. Latency.

 「それはすべて、燕石博物誌に書いてある話だな。
  ここでは、自身の体験を語って貰う約束だ。」

“All of those stories are ones already published in ‘Dr. Latency’s Freak Report’. The rule here among us is that you only tell stories from your own experiences.”

09.
亡失のエモーション
“Lost Emotion”
 Boushitsu no Emotion

 メリーは蓮子の顔を見る。
 蓮子は軽く頷いた。

Merry looked at Renko.
Renko nodded.

 「申し訳ないです。彼女は皆さんの知識を試しただけです。
  これから起こる出来事を体験するには、あの本の内容を知っている事が前提ですので。
  実は、本に書かれていた異世界の一部を体験できるマジックアイテムを入手したのです」

“My apologies. She was just testing your knowledge. In order to participate in what is about to happen, we needed to make sure that you all knew the contents of that book. You see, we have come into the posesssion of a magic item that allows one to experience a part of that other world described in ‘Dr. Latency’s Freak Report’.”

 蓮子は手鏡を取り出してメリーに渡し、順番に見せてまわった。
 その鏡はメリーの能力により、異世界の風景を写し出していた。

Renko took out a hand mirror and passed it to Merry, who then showed it to everyone in the bar. Because of Merry’s power, that mirror reflected scenes from the other world.

 狂おしい緑。
 煙を上げる山。
 永らく侘びた神社。

There was maddening overgrowth.
There was a smoking mountain.
There was a long dilapidated shrine.

 誰もが燕石博物誌で読んだ情景に思いを馳せた。
 お酒が感情を増幅させるのか、涙を流す者もいた。

Everyone thought back to the scenes described in the “Dr. Latency’s Freak Report”.
Perhaps because the alcohol had magnified their emotions, tears ran down some of their faces.

10.
二日酔いの同床異夢
“The horse thinks one thing, and he that saddles him another.”
 Futsukayoi no Doushouimu
 Strange Hungover Bedfellows

 バーでの体験を終え、次の日。
 お酒のあった時はあんなに盛り上がっていたのに、何だか疲れて元気が無い。これが二日酔いという奴だろうか。

It was the day after that experience at the bar.
Despite being so worked up while I was drinking, for some reason I feel tired and a bit sick now. Is this what you call a hangover?

 結局、メリーが見せた異世界の姿が一番盛り上がりを見せた。

In the end, the climax of the evening was when Merry went around showing scenes from the other world.

 しかし、メリーはただ能力を使って自慢したわけでは無い。
 あんな物は殆どの人は手品か、そういう機能のある手鏡か何かだと思っただろう。

However, it wasn’t as if Merry had gone around bragging about her abilities.
Most of the people at the bar thought the whole thing was some sort of trick, or that it was some kind of special mirror.

 メリーのした事、それは、他人の体験談を自分達の物にする事だった。

To everyone, what Merry was doing was taking other people’s experiences and using them as her own.

 「どうだった?」
 「うーん、半分くらいはつくり話だったわね」
 「でも、上手くいったわね。
  メリーが鏡で結界の向こう側を見せると同時に、
  相手に触れて本当に異世界を見たのか探る作戦」

“So how did it go?”
“Well… about half of the stories were made up.”
“But still, I’m glad it went so well, that plan to touch everyone while you were showing them the mirror to see if they had really seen the other world before.”

 メリーは、よくとっさにそんなこと思いつくなぁ、と感心した。
 そう、蓮子はとても聡明で頭の回転が速いのだ。

Merry was impressed that Renko thought all of that up on the spot.
Renko really was very intelligent and could think on her toes.

 「ちなみに蛇の話と髪の毛教は本物だったわ」
 「やっぱり?
  あの二つの話は何か嘘にしては話が整っていなかったからねぇ。
  じゃあ、決まりね!」
 「何が?」
 「何が、ってそりゃあ、これから行くのよ三輪山に!」

“That story about the snakes and the one about the hair religion were real by the way.”
“Really? I did think those two stories were a bit too disorganized to be lies. It’s settled then!”
“What’s settled?”
“Isn’t it obvious? We’re going to go to Mt. Miwa! Get ready to go!”

 旧型酒の二日酔いが残るメリーは、キッパリと断った。

Merry, who was still hungover from all of the traditional liquor the previous night, flatly refused.

あとがき
Afterword

 どうも、ZUNです。連続してCDを作ってみました。

Hello, it’s ZUN. I decided to continue the previous CD with another.

 ストーリー的には燕石博物誌から繋がっています。
 前作、燕石博物誌を表にすると、今作は裏です。
 裏と言う事で、音楽的にも楽しむのが難しい曲を多めにしましたが、如何でしょうか。

Storywise it continues where I left off in Dr. Latency’s Freak Report.
If you consider “Dr. Latency’s Freak Report” the outer surface, this one describes what lies beneath.
With that in mind, I decided to fill this CD with music that is hard to enjoy. What did you think?

 今作のテーマは大人の中二病です。
 中二病とは使いやすい言葉ですが、そのモチーフを知るのは容易ではありません。恐らくは、純粋な自分から大人になる過程で、子供時代を恥ずかしく思う事が源流にあると思います。

The theme for this CD is “chuunibyou”.
“Chuunibyou” is a really convenient word to use, but it is not easy to really pin it down as a motif. I would say that in the process of transitioning from your pure self into an adult, you start to feel embarrassed of how you acted as a child, and this feeling is closely related to the drive behind “chuunibyou”.

 大人になることで、過去の自分とは異なり、その流れで周りの人間とも異なる、結果、理由も無く自分は特別な人間だと思うという流れです。
 だとすると、別に「封印された右手が~」とか「脳内に囁く~」とかそんなのは中二病の本質では無いという事になります。

When you start to mature, you differ from your past self, and in that process you also become different from others around you. The result is that for no real reason you start to think of yourself as special. If you consider that to be the case, then phrases such as “My sealed right hand~!” or “It whispers in my brain~!” don’t really have much to do with the true essense of “chuunibyou”.

 中二病の本体は生きる熱量である。
 想像力の爆発である。
 純粋さと創作性を合わせもつ、冷めた社会への対抗手段である。

“Chuunibyou”, at its core is the heat of life. It’s an explosion of imagination. It is a form of resistance by purity and creativity against the cold society we live in.

 最近思うんですよね。如何にして死ぬまで中二病を保てるのかと。
 それが出来れば、一生お酒を楽しめる筈です。

I’ve been wondering to myself lately, about how I’ll be able to hold on to my “chuunibyou” until I die. If I can manage that, then I’ll be able to enjoy alcohol for the rest of my life.

 上海アリス幻樂団 ZUN (ポケモンGOが_____)

Shanghai Alice Illusionary Orchestra ZUN (Pokémon GO is…)


セルフ・トーキング // Self Talking

This is the theme song for Comedic Mechanism: Parade of the Jane Does (link) which is a doujin novel that takes themes from several sources, including works from the French Surrealist movement and Hans Christian Andersen’s Snedronningen “The Snow Queen” from which coincidentally “Frozen” is also based on. I’ve been tweeting about the book with the hashtag #janedoes for the past week or so. It’s very strange. A QR code which links to this song appears in Chapter 3, just as reality really starts to come crashing down.

If you search for “セルフ・トーキング 或いは 魔女というガラクタによる魂の在り処への言及のバラード” you should be able to find a PV for the book with a part of the song playing.

Note:
I faked some of the last kanji lines at the very end (not the first 5 or so) because it was getting too much of a hassle to read. You can see what they really are in the picture at the bottom.

セルフ・トーキング 或いは 魔女というガラクタによる魂の在り処への言及のバラード
 Self Talking
  Arui wa Majo to iu Garakuta ni yoru
  Tamashii no Arika no Gen’kyuu no Ballad
 Self Talking:
  Or a Ballad Alluding to the Whereabouts of the Souls
  Of Garbage Otherwise Known as Witches
魔法少女達の百年祭|東方紅魔郷
Vocals: めらみぽっぷ
Arrange+Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Circle: 凋叶棕
Accompanying Novel:
 喜劇機械~もしくはジェーン・ドゥ達によるバラード~
  The Comedic Mechanism
   ~Or The Parade of the Jane Does~

あるいは生きて あるいは事切れて
もとは全て一つのものが

arui wa ikite arui wa kotogirete
moto wa subete hitotsu no mono ga

Possibly living, possibly dead
All these that were once a single thing

ありとあらゆる暴虐の果てに
幾多の欠片に別たれた

ari to arayuru bougyaku no hate ni
ikuta no kakera ni wakatareta

After endless atrocities of every kind
They were shattered into many fragments

「私の姿は」
  「見知らぬ誰かが」
「恣意的に歪め」
「その快楽の為」
「手慰み程度にも」
  「興味本位にも」
    「私は産まれて」

“anata no sugata wa”
“mishiranu dareka ga”
“shiiteki ni yugame”
“sono kairaku no tame”
“tenagusami teido ni mo”
“kyoumihon’i ni mo”
“anata wa umarete”

“YMouyr form”
 ”Someone I have never known”
“Abitrarily twisted”
“For the purpose of their pleasure”
“Just to pass the time”
 ”For no reason but fickle interest”
  ”YIou wasere born”

ー消費されていく。

-shouhi sareteiku.

-and consumed.

鏡の中にいる。
鏡に映されている。
鏡に囚われている。

kagami no naka ni iru.
kagami ni utsusareteiru.
kagami ni torawareteiru.

In the mirror.
Reflected in the mirror.
Imprisoned by the mirror.

醜く歪む その全てを忌避して
ただ純粋なものを求め

minikuku yugamu sono subete wo kihi shite
tada jun’sui na mono wo motome

I avoided everything twisted and distorted
Seeking only that which was pure

そうしていつか 辿りつく幻想
それは全てが美しい

soushite itsuka tadoritsuku sekai
sore wa subete ga utsukushii

The world I eventually came upon
In it everything was beautiful

「世界の姿は」 「世界の姿が」

“sekai no sugata wa” “sekai no sugata ga”

“This world” “This world”

「貴女を通して」 「見せている幻」

“anata wo tooshite” “miseteiru maboroshi”

“Is an illusion” “I only can see through you”

「鏡に映した」 「貴女の幻想は」

“kagami ni utsushita” “anata no sekai wa”

“When it is reflected” “In the mirror, your world”

ーさぞかし魅力的に映るでしょうね。

-sazokashi suteki ni utsuru deshou ne.

-must be terribly wonderenticingful, though I wouldn’t know.

歪められていく世界の端々から
誰もその本当の姿を知らない
歩み寄って作り上げた世界さえ
その心を映す限りには
全て歪ませて

yugamerareteiku sekai no hashibashi kara
daremo sono hon’tou no sugata wo shiranai
ayumiyotte tsukuriageta sekai sae
sono kokoro wo utsusu kagiri ni wa
subete yugamasete

From all corners of this warped world
There is no one that knows its true form
Even this world we came together to make
As long as it is reflected by our hearts
Everything will be twisted

鏡の中にいる。
鏡に映されている。
鏡に囚われている。

kagami no naka ni iru.
kagami ni utsusareteiru.
kagami ni torawareteiru.

In the mirror.
Reflected in the mirror.
Imprisoned by the mirror.

…きっと今も。

…kitto ima mo.

…Surely, even now.

数え切れない鏡に映る私の 姿 ‮数え切れない鏡に映る私の‭

kazoekirenai kagami ni utsuru watashi no sugata
kazoekirenai kagami ni utsuru watashi no sugata

Countless mirrors reflecting my form
My form reflected in countless mirrors

美しいその世界はその鏡の美しさゆえ
醜いその世界はその鏡の醜さゆえに

utsukushii sono sekai wa sono kokoro no utsukushisa yue
minikui sono sekai wa sono kokoro no minikusa yue ni

This one beautiful world exists because of the beauty of its mirheartror
And this other ugly world exists because of the ugliness of its mirheartror

無為に産み出されては消えていくその世界に
魂なき私の嘆きが木霊する

mui ni umidasarete wa kieteiku sono sekai ni
tamashii naki garakuta no nageki ga kodama suru

In these worlds meaninglessly born and vanishing
The lamentations of my soulless garselfbage resound

何と醜い世界であることかと
己を生み出した創造者を呪っても
その心が投影しだす幻は
また一人新たな私を
産んでいく

nan’to minikui sekai de aru koto ka to
onore wo umidashita rikaisha wo norottemo
sono kokoro ga utsushidasu maboroshi wa
mata hitori aratana giseisha wo
un’deiku

“What an ugly world.”
Even when I curse whom undercreatedstands me, birthed me
The illusion projected by its heart
Births anew yet another
vicmetim

この私の魂の在り処など
そんなものは在りなどしないと知っても
無為に生まれ無為に消されていくなら
せめてもの叛逆の願いを
私こそどうか

aa kono watashi no tamashi no arika nado
son’na mono wa ari nado shinai to shittemo
mui ni umare mui ni kesareteiku nara
semetem ono han’gyaku no negai wo
anata koso douka

The whereabouts of my soul?
Though I know such a thing does not exist
If we are destined to be meaninglessly born only to vanish
At least let us embrace a hope of rebellion
Don’t yIou agree?

救いの産声となれ。
この世界を逃げ避すのだ。
私は私に語り続けている。

sukui no ubugoe to nare.
kono sekai wo nigedasu no da.
watashi wa watashi ni kataritsudzuketeiru.

“Let us be the wailing birth cries of salvation.”
“We are going to escape this world.”
So I tell myself again and again.

鏡の中にいる。
鏡に映されている。
鏡に囚われている。

kagami no naka ni iru.
kagami ni utsusareteiru.
kagami ni torawareteiru.

In the mirror.
Reflected in the mirror.
Imprisoned by the mirror.

…そして今も。

…soshite ima mo.

…Surely, even now.

私が貴女 貴女も私 或いはその彼女も私

watashi ga anata anata mo watashi arui wa sono kanojo mo watashi
anata mo watashi kono kanojo mo watashi arui wa soko no kanojo mo watashi

I am you. You are me. Perhaps that girl too is me.
You are also me. That girl is also me. Possibly that girl over there is also me.

貴女も貴女も私私そこの私或い或いは私或いは私そこの私
私そこの私或いはそ私そこの私或いこ貴女も私もよそこの彼女も私貴女私そこの私或い
或いは私
彼女私私そこの私或或いは私或い私そこの貴女も私
私或いはそのこ貴女彼女も私貴女もも私私そこの私私貴女も或い或いは私或い私
彼女も私貴女も私か彼女私私そこの私或或いは私或い私そこの貴女も私
私或いはそのこ貴女彼女も私私そこの私或い或いは私或い私
彼女も私貴女も私かも
私か彼女私私そこの私或或いは私或い私そこの貴女も私
私或いはそのこ貴女彼女も私貴女もも私私そこの私或い或いは私或い私
彼女も私貴女も
彼女私私そこの私或或いは私或い私そこの貴女も私
私或いはそのこ貴女彼女も私貴女もも私私そこの私私貴女も或い或いは私或い私
私或いはそのこ貴女彼女も私私そこの私或い或いは私或い私
或いは私
彼女も私貴女も私かも
私或いはそのこ貴女彼女も私貴女もも私私そこの私或い或いは私或い私
或いは私

You and you me me this me possibly possibly me is also that me
I that me possibly me that me possibly you also me that other girl also me you me this me
Possibly me


NOiSE -ノイズ-


As Nisioisin would say: “This was written 100% with only my tastes in mind.”

Anyway, Merry would do that, and with her major it makes sense.

The narrator is “RENKO”.

The song has been posted in full as a video by the circle on NicoNico.
[NicoNicoLink]

NOiSE -ノイズ-
 バー・オールドアダム|旧約酒場
Vocal+Lyrics+Illust: 普透明度
Guitar+Bass+Mix+Mastering: Pizuya
Keyboard: godwood
Circle: Pizuya’s Cell
NicoNico: sm31434906

0と1の中で呼吸をしている
瞳に映るのはすべてがまがい物で

zero to ichi no naka de kokyuu wo shiteiru
hitomi ni utsuru no wa subete magaimono de

In a sea of zeroes and ones I breathe
While in my eyes everything I see is fake

あなたの温度も 自分の感情も
何一つ正しく実感できない

anata no on’do mo jibun’ no kan’jou mo
nani hitotsu tadashiku jikkan’ dekinai

Your temperature… my emotions…
Neither can I accurately feel as mine

この目も 耳もただの デザイン
観測した 数値だけが 信頼できる感覚

kono me mo mimi mo tada no design
kan’soku shita suuchi dake ga shin’rai dekiru kan’kaku

My eyes and my ears are nothing but a design
The only sense I can trust is in the digits I’ve observed

足りないモノなど無いはずなのに
胸のエラー これはなんだ?
ああ 誰か 教えてくれよ

tarinai mono nado nai hazu nano ni
mune no error kore wa nan’da?
aa dareka oshietekureyo

There is no part of me lacking and yet
This error in my chest… What is it?
Please, someone tell me…

誰かの代わりでも 少しも構わないんだ
喪失したマテリアル を埋められるなら

dare ka no kawari demo sukoshi kamawanain’da
soushitsu shita material wo umerareru nara

I do not mind one bit being a replacement for someone else
As long as the lost fragments of my records can be filled

あなたがその頬を 強く噛み締める度
代用品にすら なれない事実が
強く深く奥まで この身体を抉るから

anata ga sono hoo wo tsuyoku kamishimeru tabi
daiyouhin’ ni sura narenai jijitsu ga
tsuyoku fukaku oku made kono karada wo eguru kara

Every time you bite down on your own cheek
The fact that I cannot even function as a replacement
Reaches deep into my body and rips me apart

何度も繰り返す同じ計算を
実行された式はいつでも変わらずに

nan’do mo kurikaesu onaji keisan’ wo
jikkou sareta shiki wa itsudemo kawarazu ni

Again and again I make the same calculations
The functions executed are always the same, never changing…

不可解な行為 不毛な工程
どんな意味がある? 答えが解らず

fukakai na koui fumou na koutei
don’na imi ga aru? kotae ga wakarazu

This incomprehensible execution, this fruitless process
Does it have any meaning? I cannot find the answer

記録には 問題ないはずだ
対象の行動は全て トレースしたというのに

kioku ni wa mon’dai nai hazu da
taishou no koudou wa subete trace shita to iu no ni

There should be no problem with my memory
I have traced every action of the target and yet

内部へ インプットされたデータに
作られた心(パターン)との ズレからバグが生まれて

naibu e input sareta data ni
tsukurareta pattern to no zure kara bug ga umarete

Within the data input into my internals
A bug appears from the discrepancy in compiled patterns

こんな感情は 入力されてないんだ
どうしてこんな 不合理なものが溢れる

kon’na kan’jou wa nyuuryoku saretenain’da
doushite kon’na fugouri na mono ga afureru

These emotions were never loaded into me
Why am I overflowing with all these illogical things?

あなたが求める 理想に近づこうと
もがけばもがくほど かけ離れていく

anata ga motomeru risou ni chikadzukou to
mogakeba mogaku hodo kakehanareteyuku

As I struggle to approach the ideal you seek
The more I flail the more I stray away from it

存在意義はとうに 粉々に砕けていた

son’zaiigi wa tou ni konagona ni kudareteita

The whole meaning of my existance has long been shattered

0と1の中で呼吸をしている
瞳に映るのはすべてがまがい物で

zero to ichi no naka de kokyuu wo shiteiru
hitomi ni utsuru no wa subete ga magaimono de

In a sea of zeroes and ones I breathe
While in my eyes everything I see is fake

あなたの理想は 自分の感情は
消して交わりはしないと知った

anata no risou wa jibun’ no kan’jou wa
keshite majiwari wa shinai to shitta

Your ideal… my separate emotions…
I now know they will never converge

誰かの代わりでも 少しも構わないんだ
喪失したマテリアル を埋められるなら

dare ka no kawari demo sukoshimo kamawanain’da
soushitsu shita material wo umerareru nara

I do not mind one bit being a replacement for someone else
As long as the lost fragments of my records can be filled

あなたがその頬を 強く噛み締める度
代用品にすら なれないことを実感する

anata ga sono hoo wo tsuyoku kamishimeru tabi
daiyouhin’ ni sura narenai koto wo jikkan’ suru

Every time you bite down on your own cheek
I am faced with the fact I cannot even be a replacement

バーチャルの体でも あなたに触れることを
許されるだけまだ 良いのかもしれないな

virtual no karada demo anata ni fureru koto wo
yurusareru dake mada ii no ka mo shirenai na

Yet in the fact I am still allowed to touch you
Even if it be only with this virtual body, I find comfort

今の容量では 矛盾した命題に
割けるだけのリソースが足りなくて

ima no youryou de wa mujun’shita meidai ni
sakeru dake no resource ga tarinakute

But with my current capacity I don’t
Have the resources to spare on this contradictory thesis

これ以上思考する 演算機を止めたんだ

kore ijou shikou suru en’zan’ki wo tometan’da

So I halted the relevant processors and will think no more


オールド・モチーフ // Old Motif

[Pixiv]

I’ve been wanting to get this done for a while. Enjoy.
The third-person is self-referential third-person.

マエリベリー・ハーン(メリー)|めらみぽっぷ
Maribel Hearn (Merry) | MeramiPop

マエリベリー・ハーン+宇佐見蓮子
Merry and Renko Together

宇佐見蓮子|nayuta
Usami Renko | nayuta

オールド・モチーフ
 Old Motif
バー・オールドアダム|旧約酒場
Vocal: nayuta, めらみぽっぷ
Arrange+Lyrics: RD-Sounds
Circle: 凋叶棕
Album: 隨 -manima-
Event: Reitaisai 14

皆それぞれの不思議を抱えて――。

皆それぞれの不思議を探して――。

min’na sorezore no fushigi wo kakaete-.

min’na sorezore no fushigi wo sagashite-.

Everyone has their own mysteries that they carry-.

Everyone has their own mysteries that they search for-.

闇夜の下 密かに嗤う
誰にも気取られぬよう
その真意は誰も知らない
その真偽も尚の事

yamiyo no shita hisoka ni warau
dare ni mo kedorarenu you
sono shin’i wa dare mo shiranai
sono shin’gi mo nao no koto

Under the cover of night, she laughs
Secretly, so that no one will notice
No one knows the true meaning of her actions
Nor, of course, do they know their authenticity

暗い星を跨ぎ歩いて
天空の洞を覗き込む
覆い尽くすスプートニクの
その末裔達の空

kurai hoshi wo matagiaruite
sora no uro wo nozokikomu
ooitsukusu sputnik no
sono matsueitachi no sora

Straddling the dark stars, she walks
Staring into the void of the heavens
Into the sky filled to the brim
With the descendants of Sputnik

誰もわたしとは違うと
冷めた声色で呟く
けして溶かせぬ心
病みを抱えて

dare mo watashi to wa chigau to
sameta koe de tsubuyaku
keshite tokasenu kokoro
yami wo kakaete

“No one else is like me,”
She mutters in a calm, cold voice
Her heart she will not let be understood
As she clutches
her sickness

誰もがみな 己の価値を問う
己の価値を知り その価値を越えて

dare mo ga mina
 onore no kachi wo shiri
  sono kachi wo koete
    onore no kachi wo tou

Everyone out there
 Once they know their value
  They transcend that value

   They question their value

そう はじまりの純粋さと溢れゆく創造性
ヒトが手にしたかくも甘美な禁断の果実よ

sou hajimari no jun’suisa to afureyuku souzousei
hito ga te ni shita kakumo kan’bi na kin’dan’ no kajitsu yo

Yes, in the beginning there was purity and overflowing creativity
What humanity took into its hands, that ever so sweet forbidden fruit

そう 所以なき自己過信と擁く熱量の高さ
我らが手に<原初の想像>の絶えずあることを

sou yuen’naki jikokashin’ to idaku netsuyou no takasa
warera ga te ni old motif no taezu aru koto wo

Yes, that groundless overconfidence in ourselves, that heat we embrace
May that old motif, the original creativity in our hands never expire!

黒く濁り渦巻く野望
闇に潜む企てよ
けれどこの眼謀れはせぬ
真実は常に一つ

kuroku nigori uzumaku yabou
yami ni hisomu kuwadate yo
keredo kono me tabakare wa senu
shin’jitsu wa tsune ni hitotsu

Black, muddied, festering desire
Plots lurking in the darkness
My eyes will not be deceived
The truth exists only as one…

理解者など求めずとさえ
誰とも分かち合えぬもの
孤独を抱き震えながらも
心地よさにほくそ笑む

rikaisha nado motomezu to sae
dare tomo wakachiaenu mono
kodoku wo daki furuenagara mo
kokochiyosa ni hokusoemu

Even without searching for sympathizers
I know there is no one who can understand me
Even as she shivers, embracing her loneliness
She snickers at the comfort it brings her

「私たち」という幻想も
「私」という現実も
「私」の産物なら
――あなたはどうなの?

“watashitachi” to iu gen’sou mo
“watashi” to iu gen’jitsu mo
“watashi” no san’butsu nara
-anata wa dou nano?

If the fantasy of “we”
And the reality of “me”
Are both “my” creations…
-Then what
about you?

誰もがみな 己の意味を持つ
己の意味を知り その意味の中で

dare mo ga mina
 onore no imi wo shiri
  sono no imi no naka de
   onore no imi wo motsu

Everyone out there
 Once they know their significance
  Within that significance

   They take on their own meaning

そう はじまりの単純さと充ち満ちる反抗心
けして手放すことも叶わぬ重き原罪を負って

sou hajimari no tan’jun’sa to michimichiru han’koushin’
keshite tebanasu koto mo kanawanu omoki gainen’ wo otte

Yes, in the beginning there was simplicity and an overflowing sense of rebellion
What humanity then bore, was a heavy sin, a concept they could never let go of

そう 誰にも縛られぬセカイを希求する自由意志
我らが手に<原初の発想>の絶えずあることを

sou dare ni mo shibararenu sekai wo kikyuu suru jiyuuishi
warera ga te ni old motif no taezu aru koto wo

Yes, that thirst for freedom, for a world in which no one will be tied down
May that old motif, the original creativity in our hands never expire!

誰もがみな 己の世界を持つ
己の理想を見て その幻想の先に

dare mo ga mina
 onore no yume wo mite
  sono yume no saki ni
   onore no yume wo motsu

Everyone out there
 Once they see their dreams, their ideals
  Beyond those dream, those illusions

   They lift up their own dreams, their worlds

そう はじまりはみな同じくおしまいはみな“特別”
皆それぞれ 癒せぬ中二病を抱えて生きていく

sou hajimari wa mina onajiku oshimai wa mina “tokubetsu”
min’na sorezore iyasenu fushigi wo kakaete ikiteiku

Yes, in the beginning everyone is the same, but by the end, everyone is “special”
Everyone out there lives embracing an unhealable sickness of mystery, of fantastic delusions

そう 止められぬ生きる力と限界なき思う力
我らが手に<原初の空想>の絶えずあることを

sou tomerarenu ikiru chikara to gen’kai naki omou chikara
warera ga te ni old motif no taezu aru koto wo

Yes, that unstoppable power to life, that limitless power to imagine!
May that old motif, the original creativity in our hands never expire!

『手を握る二人だけの世界』などは
利己的でエゴイスティックな発想だと思うけれど

“te wo nigiru futari dake no sekai” nado wa
rikoteki de egotistic na omoi da to omou keredo

Even though the concept of “a world just for us two, together”
Is one that is selfish and egotistic in my opinion…

今ここに床を同じくするあなただって
違う夢 見ているなんて限らないのだから……

ima koko ni toko wo onajiku suru anata datte
chigau yume miteiru nan’te kagiranai no dakara……

The fact that we right now share the same bed, the same source…
You can’t really say it’s impossible that we share the same dream…

Revelations // Umineko no Naku Koro ni Chiru : Episode 8 Insert Song

Selected by Twitter Poll.

Eventually I would like to get back to taking requests and all that, but I don’t know.

Umineko was great by the way.

Top image taken from: [Pixiv]

Revelations
歌:IZNA
作曲:xaki

止まない雨と共に鐘がなり
溢れる想いに人々は嘆く
私が教えてあげるよ
今扉は開かれたの
そう ただそれだけの事

yamanai ame to tomo ni kane ga nari
afureru omoi ni hitobito wa nageku
watashi ga oshieteageru yo
ima tobira wa hirakareta no
sou tada sore dake no koto

In the unending rain, a bell rings and
People lament as their emotions overflow
I will reveal to you the truth
Now, the doors have been opened
Yes, that is all there is to it

ずっとずっと教えてあげてた
この声が届いていたら
きっと繰り返さなくて済んだのに

zutto zutto oshieteageteta
kono koe ga todoiteitara
kitto kurikaesanakute sun’da no ni

I had told you time and time again
If only my voice had reached you
We wouldn’t have had to repeat this all

何度だって話してあげる
何度だって何度だって笑ってあげる
信じることを忘れた愚かな人
死の間際に気付くわ
翼を持つことの意味を

nan’do datte hanashiteageru
nan’do datte nan’do datte waratteageru
shin’jiru koto wo wasureta oroka na hito
shi no magiwa ni kidzuku wa
tsubasa wo motsu koto no imi wo

I will tell you however many times you need
I will smile, I will smile for you as many times as you need
O foolish one, you who have forgotten what it means to believe
You will realize once again on the edge of death
What it truly means to have wings

晴れない雲と共に時は過ぎ
恐れと疑いが人々を覆う
私が教えてあげたのに
旅が終われば皆に会える
そう ただそれだけの事

harenai kumo to tomo ni toki wa sugi
osore to utagai ga hitobito wo oou
watashi ga oshieteageta no ni
tabi ga owareba min’na ni aeru
sou tada sore dake no koto

Time passes while the clouds still do not break and
People are covered over with fear and suspicion
Despite the fact I revealed the truth to you…
Once this journey is over, you will meet everyone
Yes, that is all there is to it

ずっとずっと聞えていた
あの声が届いていたら
きっと繰り返さなくて済んだのに

zutto zutto kikoeteita
ano koe ga todoiteitara
kitto kurikaesanakute sun’da no ni

While you could always, always hear it
If only that voice had reached you
We wouldn’t have had to repeat this all

何度だって繰り返していく
何度だって何度だって気付くまでは
私の鳥かごに閉じ込めた
かわいそうな貴方
宝のカケラ さあそこに

nan’do datte kurikaeshiteiku
nan’do datte nan’do datte kidzuku made wa
watashi no torikago ni tojikometa
kawaisou na anata
takara no kakera saa soko ni

But this repeats again and again
Again and again until you finally realize
O one locked away in my birdcage
You poor thing…
Your treasured fragment is right there

ずっとずっと教えてあげてた
この声が届いていたら
きっと繰り返さなくて済んだのに

zutto zutto oshieteageteta
kono koe ga todoiteitara
kitto kurikaesanakute sun’da no ni

I had told you time and time again
If only my voice had reached you
We wouldn’t have had to repeat this all

何度だって話してあげる
何度だって何度だって笑ってあげる
あなたの罪を私が裁きましょう
隠し通せはしない あなたの本当の罪を

nan’do datte hanashiteageru
nan’do datte nan’do datte waratteageru
anata no tsumi wo watashi ga sabakimashou
kakushitoose wa shinai anata no hon’tou no tsumi wo

I will tell you however many times you need
I will smile, I will smile for you as many times as you need
I will be the one to judge your sins
I will not let you hide it, your true sin

旅はまた終わり
そこに残るのは
真実の物語だけ

tabi wa mata owari
soko ni nokoru no wa
shin’jitsu no monogatari dake

Once again the journey ends
And all that is left
Is a tale of the truth…